Sunday, August 31, 2014

Year 3 Day 111

movie: Flakes
starring: Christopher Lloyd, Aaron Stanford
genre: Drama
year: 2007
format: Netflix Canada

plot: A neighbourhood shop that only sells cereal is run out of business by a new chain doing the same thing moving in across the street.

In the tradition of Empire Records...that's all I could think through most of this film, was the comparison to the theme behind Empire Records.  That and You've got Mail. It's one of those us against them stories, that you keep expecting to go somewhere, but it really just gets as soggy as the cornflakes they use.

You've got a "cereal genius" who can tell you every year that a product was made, their mascot, their jingles etc, but doesn't seem to want to put it to real use. And his uptight hipster wannabe girlfriend who tries to make him fit into her version of what life should be like.   Kinda boring if you ask me.

The idea was there, I just don't think it was thought through enough.
Lloyd is the only really bright spot in this film. He plays the owner of the small shop to a tee, making the slackerness of his laid back character charming when it could have otherwise seemed desperate.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Year 3 Day 110

movie: Swearnet the Movie
starring: Mike Smith, Robb Wells
genre: Comedy, Drama,
year: 2014
format: Cinema

plot: After the Canadian Network turns down all their ideas, the four main actors who made the Trailer Park Boys household names, decide to branch out and create their own internet network. Mike (Bubbles) has borrowed money from a loan shark and has 48 hours to pay him back, meanwhile, Robb (Ricky) is trying to save his relationship, and J.P. (Julian) just wants to run a car race to honor his dead father. And during all this, Pat (Randy) is tricked into making a spectacle out of himself.

Oh my f***, I f***ing loved this!  It was as if the characters were shuffled around, with Mike being more like Ricky, and Robb being more like Bubbles.
I f***ing loved that we got to hear Smith's real voice in this.

You will see Pat Roach's full naked c**k for a few long moments, and hey, that's fine, slightly funny. There is a ton of c**k talk in this movie. Also cool.

If you're a fan of the TPB, (which you don't need to be to find this interesting) then you will see a small parallel to the character of Conky that Bubbles carries around for a few episodes, and the idea of JP carrying around an action figure through the whole film (with his dad's ashes in it)

I noticed in the listing that the actor who plays Cory was listed as being in it, I didn't see him. Though I missed a few minutes due to a bathroom break. So, he might have been on screen. The end hints at another few seasons of TPB after the credits, so that's almost a bonus.

What else can I say without adding too many spoilers?  Sebastian Bach is in it. Totally rocks (no pun intended) and it makes a nice connection to the series as he did a few episodes. Tom Green is in it, which makes sense given he's Canadian.(raise your hand if you remember the song "check the O.R, you like it so far...")  There was an actress from soap opera Young and the Restless, who at first I had no idea why she was there, but turns out she's Canadian, so makes sense. And Carrot Top. Yeah, I have no idea why he was added? 

If you're a fan of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, like I am, you'll dig this. If you're a fan of the style of putting yourself in your art like the Insane Clown Pose/Twiztid did for their websites, like I am you'll dig this.  If you liked Strange Brew, like I did, you'll dig this.

This is something I would love love love to f***ing see a sequel to.  And I was really expecting to get a f***ing  keychain as I left the cinema...(Tom Green's big line was "I'm handing out keychains")

Thursday, August 28, 2014

year 3 day 109

movie: Prelude to a Kiss
starring: Meg Ryan, Alec Baldwin
genre: Romance
year: 1992
format: Netflix Canada

plot: On their wedding day, a young couple find an old man crashes their party. Before leaving, he kisses the bride and swaps souls. The husband then spends the next few weeks trying to deal with it all.

Based on the stage play.

So the big moral of the story is finding true love no matter what package it's wrapped in. About how when two souls are meant to be together nothing will stop them.

When I first saw this film back twenty-two years ago, I thought it was one of the deepest films around. Now, all these years later, it's a bit cheesy.  Still a great love story, just doesn't flow the same as it seemed to when I was younger.

Body switch movies are a genre all their own, with major life lessons, usually about not taking things for granted. This one, dealt with not being afraid to be yourself, to just grab life by the balls and roll with it. And of course, that soulmates will always find their way to each other no matter what the situation.

I would have liked to have seen the whole supernatural element of it expanded. Simply having both characters wishing for something so badly for it to happen is great (the whole subject of law of attraction, I'll save for some other movie) but just for the sake of the film feeling like it wasn't as jump-cutty; would have liked just a bit more explanation.
I just have to wonder how two decades later, this movie would be handled if it were redone?

Random Coffee Talk 28th Aug

Anyone remember back at the beginning of the year, I said I was going to start reading the Night Watch series of books by Sergei Lukyanenko and post about them?  Well, guess what, I found my copy of Night Watch (first in the series) in the bottom of one of the moving boxes this morning. (yeah, still not unpacked)  So, that means, I'm going to give this another go.
Now, if I could just find what box the movie version was in...

Speaking of having some adventures... okay so I wasn't but...Swearnet the Movie, comes out this week here in Canada. I'm looking forward to seeing how the Trailer Park Boys pulled this one off. From the preview, it looks like it's a bit SCTV-ish crossed with ICP style stuff. In other words, looks awesome.

There are crickets outside my window as I type this, setting the mood for a laugh. Crickets...yeah I got nothing else right now.

till later.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

year 3 day 108

movie: Wanderlust
starring; Paul Rudd, Jennifer Aniston
genre: Comedy
year: 2012
format: Netflix Canada

plot: A New York couple find themselves both jobless and have to sell their house. They decide to first move across the country to live with his brother, but change their minds when they find themselves stranded at a hippie commune

The trailer made it look like it was going to be a laugh a minute riot, but it was a dud.

It was just one big cliche, and there didn't seem to be any really likeable or for that matter really hateable characters. The jokes were not close to being intelligent or funny, and most of the characters were one dimensional.
All it had going for it were the penis jokes, and that's saying something.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Year 3 Day 107

movie: Walk of Shame
starring: Elizabeth Banks, James Marsden
genre: Comedy
year: 2014
format: Shaw Video On Demand

plot: After a reporter is told she did not get her promotion, she goes out to party with friends. She then gets a message from her producer telling her that she has a second chance, she just needs to get to work on time. Leaving the apartment of the guy she spent the night with, she finds her car missing, and has to get across town in order to get it back. Along the way, she finds herself in the middle of a gang shoot out, and chased by the police. 

This was a funny movie. It's almost like a buddy movie in the sense her friends are having their own parallel adventures while trying to find her. 
The whole time, I kept thinking of  Adventures in Babysitting, which had a similar vibe to it. 

I liked that it was suppose to happen all within a 24hour time frame, which was suppose to give it a "rushed" feeling, though you sort of loose that idea somewhere around the bus scene.

Willie Garson plays her producer in this, and when you see him in this one scene with the Banks character who is in this bright yellow dress her hair puffed out...I just could not help but think of all the scenes he had with Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City as Stanford.
The Marsden character, who is the "knight in shinning armor", I thought was funny enough, but almost too "dreamy" of a character.  I would have liked to have seen at lest one flaw with that character.

Cute movie for a Sunday afternoon.

Friday, August 22, 2014

year 3 Day 106

movie: Thanks for Sharing
starring: Mark Ruffalo, Josh Gad
genre: Drama
year: 2012
format: Netflix Canada

plot; A group of sex addicts share their pitfalls and life experiences.

This ends up being less about the type of addiction, and more about general recovery and dealing with the things that trip people up when dealing with such difficult issues.

I want to say this movie is braver then it first appears.

This is done by couples, even though one isn't even an actual couple, they are just two of the members of the treatment center. I don't know if the script was written that way to make it feel more balanced?
Mark Ruffalo and Gwyneth Paltrow's storyline has them in a brand new relationship where it's a case of who's being true and who's in total denial? Each character grows to understand what they are really fearing and why they are hiding behind their own addictions. His being the sex addiction and her's being afraid of death.
The character played by Tim Robbins, is in the long term marriage, only after being there for everyone else, he's avoided his son; who's also addicted to drugs/alcohol. The dynamic is more about how father and son are tip toeing around the feeling of loss and lack of attention. Each acting out against the other, but never admitting when they are in the wrong.
The Josh Gad and Pink storyline, sees a character who is acting out because he feels ignored and cut down. Through the first half of the movie, he is portrayed as being a screw up, but by the end; he's the one who has come through for everyone else.

You can't go into this movie thinking it's just some raunched up flick, cause it's anything but. It takes a serious look at the personal relationships; the cause and affect of choices that we as humans make when feeling out of control.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

The Nosferatu Adventures S5 p23

The Nosferatu Adventures
page 154, chapter 154

Dagan let out a deep growl as he sat up in bed. Something was wrong, he could feel it in his gut. Running his tongue over his teeth, the auburn haired male started to hum to himself. Getting out of bed, he padded bare foot through the soul library, his instincts telling him he needed to get back to the forest, back to the cabin.

"Loki! Loki! Something...somethi...ain't right here." he twitched his neck to the side, batting at his right ear. "I need to leave. I don't want to do this anymore. Hello!"

"No." the voice said from behind him. The werewolf turned around to find himself standing alone in the massive room. The voice echoing in his mind. "You made a promise and you aren't done."

The werewolf snarled as he grunted, making a clicking sound with his tongue. He rotated his shoulders as if about to step into a boxing ring, his nerves on edge. Holding his hands up in a surrender motion, he bowed his head. "If I tell you that I miss the banshee can I go see her for a few hours?"

"Nope." the voice echoed again in the empty room followed by a deep laugh. "She's doing plenty fine without you." another deep mocking laugh. "Keeping busy being the alpha."

"That's not funny." another low growl escaped Dagan's throat. He spun around on his heels heading then towards the kitchen, rubbing his hand over his stomach.

"Not being funny. She's taken your position as the pack alpha. And she's really good at it. Didn't have to fight anyone for it, voted in by the rest of the guys. Jealous yet?" Loki's voice became a hushed whisper as it slithered through Dagan's mind, causing his ears to reverberate. He cracked his neck, closing his eyes as he instinctively grabbed for the container of milk.

"She...she wouldn't do that. She wouldn't do that to me. Nope." he shook his head, rubbing his thumb and forefinger over the corners of his mouth. "She might be a pain in my ass, but she respects..." he started to stammer still shaking his head. "...she respects the fact that the rules for the alpha position are there. That..that.." his words got lost as he growled again, slamming the container of milk down on the counter smashing it. A stream of white splashing on his bare foot. "Why are you doing this? Huh?" his tone became gravely as he started to shift unable to control his emotions. Dagan fell to a crouch sitting on his heels, his fangs having broken through his gums, his eyes the amber-grey of the wolf.

"Think about it. Bacchus and I told you before, that day months ago, that you were not the star of this she is. That you were just something she had to get through in order to be where and what she's meant to be. Why do you think we chose you? For the alpha status."

"" his tongue darted out curling at the corner of his mouth, as the werewolf flexed his hands, the nails glass like claws.

"I was originally going to let her be mated to Rolf, him being a prince and all..."

"Prince?" Dagan screwed up his face as he stood back to his full height confused. "He's not..."

Loki continued. "...but Bach was the one who had faith in you. He wanted her solidly with an alpha, so that meant either yourself or Ash. You just happened to get to her first." the dark haired god shimmered into the room, standing inches away from Dagan. "For once, your lack of restraint was a good thing. I'm just surprised you didn't bite her." he sniffed as he walked around the other male. "Was there a reason you didn't make her a wolf?" Loki stabbed a finger in the middle of Dagan's chest.  Dagan batted at the god, saliva dripping down from his bottom fangs. "Huh? Afraid that if she were bitten, were turned that she wouldn't survive? Or was it deeper then that?" he slipped his hand down the werewolf's body, grabbing him. "Should I say lower? Did you think that if she was bitten, that if she became a shapeshifter that you would loose your guaranteed status? Because you knew that everyone of the pack would be thinking the same thing. That once she was a shifter, they'd all be looking at her as the key to their insurance policy. That's it isn't it, yeah I think you ripped into her body crushing her spine killing her so that she couldn't become a wolf. Couldn't be claimed by anyone else. Here's something you forgot 'sweetheart'." he smiled a sinister grin, turning his eyes up to look at the young werewolf, his jaw squared. "A violent death not only activates vampires, it activates werewolves too. She's had it in her the whole time. And while you're here doing this..." Loki moved from him an inch. "She's back home, doing your day job better then you ever did. Not all she's doing. That piece of Rolf's soul she's got tucked away inside her for..." the dark haired god put his palm flat against his abdomen. "...safekeeping. You know by now that it's created a really strong connection between them." he raised his eyebrows twice in a quick movement as he balled up his fist tapping it on Dagan's chin. "Yeah, strong enough that they found a way to keep each other up at night."

Dagan was upon Loki in a blur, his fangs ripping into the god's throat.


Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your (straight up story. That spells trouble for Dagan.)

year 3 Day 105

movie: The Gift
starring:Keanu Reeves, Cate Blanchett
genre; Thriller, Drama
year: 2000
format: Netflix Canada

plot When a small town is rocked by the disappearance of one woman, the police turn to the help of a psychic. When she points them to the victim's body because of a dream, things turn personal for her.

I liked this, even though it felt like it was edited for television, and just missing something in the pace; it still came across as a decent film. I don't know if there was ever a director's cut of this, if so, I think that would have fleshed it out a bit more.  

With that said, it was a solid crime story. (most great ghost stories are)  All the sub-plots are firmly rooted in reality, all revolving around this small town and a crime that rocks everyone to their core. You see the unraveling of personalities, for many different reasons, (abuse, adultery, greed) and what fear will push someone to do. 
  There really seemed to be a string of characters who were so co-dependent, you start to wonder if they are orbiting around the psychic because they can't afford therapy?

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

year 3 Day 104

movie: The Food Guide to Love
starring: Richard Coyle, Leonor Watling
genre: Drama, Comedy, Food, Romance
year; 2013
format: Netflix Canada

plot: A food writer has an impossible time keeping a relationship beyond six months, until he meets a woman who could be his soul mate. They start having issues once the six months hits, which leads to affairs, fights and one up-manship.

This was a beauty of a movie. The food is a constant character itself in this. I love that he had gotten his start because in his mind, his father's cooking was horrible. 
One of my favourite scenes is the food fight they have at the beginning of their relationship, after having collected snails for supper.
Speaking of snails, when Coyle's character talks about how he first fell in love with food, he describes a moment when he discovers snails in garlic butter. This reminded me so much of a section in the biography The Man Who Ate the World by Jay Rayner, that I had to wonder if this was another version of his biography; but I couldn't find any indication that this was based on any book. (unless it was and I'm just not looking in the right place?)

This is just such a sweet movie, that does not have the typical happy ending. Which I love, it's always nice to see something with a little more meat to it then the usual romantic comedy.

The section of the film where Watling's character becomes a vegetarian was a great addition to the dynamic of the relationship. The fact they actually showed that they would need to have two sets of pots and pans (yes, when living with a vegetarian you truly need a set just for us because of the caramelization of meat and how it soaks into the pans pores) was a great touch. It showed not only the separation of their food habits, but was a great metaphor for how their relationship itself was deteriorating.

This is now on my to buy list.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

year 3 Day 103

movie: The Love Guide (aka  Sunny Side Up)
starring: Parker Posey, Christy Scott Cashman
genre: Drama, Comedy
year: 2011
format: Netflix Canada

plot: A farming couple are selected to be part of a reality tv show called "Cut the Crap", with a spiritual guru. At first, they don't think it is right for them, but along the way they not only learn to connect with each other again, but the tv crew find something they were missing.

This was a sweet cute movie that was more drama then comedy. You have two camps happening here, the serious farmers who don't realize they are missing something in their lives and go on their personal journey, and the goofy over the edge tv crew who don't realize they are missing some stability. 
It's a little slow going, but I think that was intentional. The whole idea is that this force of chaos lands in a town that is almost at a stand still. The whole point seems to be about finding balance and self worth.

There is a character in this, the show's director who keeps trying to "ground" everyone, by forcing them to play by the rules of modern television, and keeps telling everyone to give up the new age stuff and be more Springer. His character though minor, stands out to me as a voice everybody hears whenever they are about to do something fun, eventful, adventurous or life changing. He keeps asking for drama, but keeps failing to see that there is more there then meets the eye.

This could have easily been one of those stories with the crazy sister/aunt who comes to visit and teaches everyone life lessons and to loosen up, but by making Posey's character a reality tv star, I think it added an element and layer to it. And ironically made it a very modern film given how formularic the plot really was.

Monday, August 18, 2014

The Nosferatu Adventures S5 p22

The Nosferatu Adventures 
page 153, chapter 153

Rolf was starting to wonder if this was a set up? One of Loki's tricks, when he felt a cold grip snake its way through his lungs. The werewolf had to cover his mouth with both hands to keep the scream the gut retching roar from escaping his lips.  The room went suddenly dark, like tunnel vision as he connected with Nosferatu. He saw, felt everything from her point of view for the briefest seconds. The female had stopped walking through the forest, dropping to her knees in a sudden shock of grief. The scream ripping violently from her, forcing Leo, The Seer and Ash to cover their ears crawling away from her.
Rolf felt Nosferatu's fangs explode from her gums, felt her throat closing as all the air seemed to ball itself in her chest, saw everything through a foggy haze as he realized her eyes had gone completely white.

The werewolf ran his tongue over his own teeth, finding them having started to transform, shaking his head, the male flicked his long hair out of his face, as he grabbed at the bar to steady himself.
She was running now her lungs burning with the need for air, her entire body pushing itself beyond her normal scope. It was causing Rolf's own body to ache; every muscle twitching with the desire to flex and to run.

Looking down, Rolf found himself then in Ash's cabin with Harker's body crumpled at his feet, blood pouring from the wound in his gut. The timber wolves all huddled together around him, howling in grief.
Nosferatu arrived, another scream that should have shattered his ears ripping from her. She didn't see him, but Rolf saw her. He felt everything our heroine did, saw it first hand and from her point of view. It was confusing to him, like suddenly living in a hologram.  He watched as Nosferatu bent down cradling Harker to her. Watched as the blood covered her hands, her face, her chest. Watched as she bit down hard on her own wrist trying to save him with her blood.

But it was too late. Harker was already dead.  Rolf then bent down digging his hand deep into Harker's chest, pulling out the glowing orb that was his soul, before shimmering away. The sound of the timber wolves as they howled like a creepy echo in his ears.

Rolf had a hard time then keeping things straight. The hologram had ended but the soul connection to our heroine held. He found himself sniffing an invisible body, found himself wanting to transform into a wolf and run through the kingdom looking for blood.  But instead he growled forcing his hands to work. Forcing the glowing orb in front of him to take form, forcing himself to concentrate on seeing the shape of what Harker used to look like in order to see what his next incarnation would be.

Only the new form never happened. There was only one version of Harker standing before him back in that bar. Rolf snorted as the image of the Fort suddenly took over his vision.

Nosferatu didn't need an invitation it was a public place. Pushing the gates open she stalked towards the Queen, breaking the neck of the guard to her left, then ripping the heart out of the one to her right. She continued stomping her way through the courtyard, a tunnel vision of her own. Three more guards found themselves missing limbs, their own swords sticking out of them as she passed.

The female slammed the severed skull on the table in front of the Queen. He sniffed as he stood straightening his tie before leaning towards her. The blood spilled across the table top and silently dripped on their shoes.

"I'm listening." The Queen said clearing his throat gesturing for the female to walk with him.

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your (straight up story. There should be something cute here but I got nothing)

year 3 day 102

movie: The Internship
starring: Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson
genre: Comedy
year: 2013
format: Netflix Canada

plot: Two salesmen are fired after nearly twenty years in the business, and find themselves in a competition with hundreds of twenty-somethings for a job working at Google.

I actually liked this, it had a very old school Revenge of the Nerds vibe to it. I'm not much of a fan of Owen Wilson, but he seems to have a decent chemistry with Vaughn and it just really worked.

This was a predictable storyline, but still, it managed to come off with enough laughs. I think the fact they took something as universal and current as google, made it seem fresh.
There really isn't much to say about this other then it's a solid buddy movie. A couple of characters find love, half of them find themselves and some respect, which all comes back to the old ideas that played so well in Nerds.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Year 3 Day 101

movie: Adult World
starring: John Cusack, Emma Roberts
genre: Comedy, Drama,
year: 2013
format: Netflix Canada

plot: A college grad desperately wants to be a poet, and decides to inject herself into the life of her hero by becoming his assistant. She finds herself broke and kicked out of her parents place, and ends up working in an adult video store.

There is this underlining theme of innocence to the whole thing. Yes, the main characters work in a porn shop, but none of them come across as perverted; treating it more like working in a coffee house or library. (loved the scene when the one character is telling her about the porn version of the dewy decimal system)

The film is more about heartbreak then anything else. The lead character is thrown into a harsh reality and is reacting like anyone would. (seeing her best friend get published before her on her first try, having her first bit of real fame coming in the form of bad reviews) The disappointment driving her to be over dramatic to the point of smashing her hero's classic guitar.

Cusack's character is perfect as the aged hero who finds himself stuck with her badgering him through the whole film, and you find yourself identifying with his character as much as the lead's. His stunt to get her to really look at her life is pitch perfect in it's cruelty and humour.

There were moments when I kept thinking of the 1994 movie Reality Bites, there really isn't anything to draw a comparison, but for whatever reason, I kept being drawn myself back to the spirit of that film.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

year 3 Day 100

movie: What to expect when you're expecting
starring: Jennifer Lopez, Chris Rock
genre: Comedy
year: 2012
format: Netflix Canada

plot: Follows a group of soon to be parents over the course of the nine months they are pregnant.

Based on the self help book

Oh my god, why did I sit through this?  Seriously, I found it boring, and at times gross. (I have a problem with pregnant women hence the gross. Tokophobia is the fear of childbirth/pregnancy)

The Chris Rock stuff was good, he nailed his character, but the rest was just a bit lacking in depth. I think there were too many couples, which made it difficult to care about any of them. Their stories criss crossed but never gathered any real steam. Not too mention, I found it a bit creepy and too convenient that eight couples who all knew each other were all having babies at the same time.

Friday, August 15, 2014

The Nosferatu Adventures S5 p21

The Nosferatu Adventures
page 152, chapter 152

A year and a half ago...

The air was a crisp knife, burning her throat as she breathed it in. The light turned red as she reached the corner, waiting for a chance to cross; just as the bus seemed to come out of nowhere, speeding past her. Nosferatu swore as she realized that she would have another half hour to wait for the next one. Sighing, she adjusted the strap of her purse on her shoulder, and turned into the parking lot of the donut shop.
There was a line up all the way to the door, barely giving her room to squeeze in. Digging through the bottom of her bag, she found just enough to get herself an extra large coffee. She did the math quickly, realizing that she'd never make it in time to the movie if she waited for the next bus. Sighing again, the redhead decided to forgo the coffee and walk to the cinema.
She was disappointed to see the line up for the movie was just as long as the line had been back at the coffee shop.

"You like sci-fi?" a male voice asked. Turning, Nosferatu found herself staring into the deepest darkest eyes she'd ever seen. Nodding, the female could do nothing but try to remember to breathe. There was something both unnerving and erotic about this man. His aura just seemed to glow this intense white, which only expanded when he smiled. "I prefer horror myself. Sorry, let me introduce myself, I'm Bach." he brought his hand up to take her's.

"Nosf..."she had to clear her throat, closing her eyes. "Nosferatu."

"That's a very unusual name." he smiled. The female was nearly certain she saw the gleam of fangs.

"Been told that more then once." she licked her lips suddenly feeling like her stomach had dropped out of her body. Bach nodded his approval then turned a half step.

"Well, it was lovely meeting you." he kissed her palm, causing her to jump back, pulling her hand from him. He smirked as he headed off in the direction of the men's room.  Nosferatu shook her head, rubbing her hand over her forehead, suddenly feeling dizzy. Pulling her hand away she saw two small puncture marks near her thumb.

The male shimmered away as the bathroom door closed behind him. The god walked from behind the tree, and over to where Loki was sitting, rubbing his hands together kneeling beside him.

"I found her. After 700 years, I've finally found her." Bacchus said in an near hushed whisper. Loki opened his eyes, leaning closer to his relative.

"Where?" the dark haired god nearly crawled into the other man's lap.

"An alternate reality." he stood back up spinning around on his heels.

"And you're sure it's her?"

"I tasted her blood. It's our blood, your blood and mine. She's not much to look at, but there's no mistaking it. She's got an aura about her that only nephilim have."  He waved his hand around, a small cloud appearing showing our heroine within it's depths.

"She's old."

"About 40. Drop in the bucket." Bacchus replied.

"For an immortal, but for a human that's old." Loki scratched at his jaw. "Anyway to know if she's ready for this?"

"No. We're going to have to prepare her. Start by making her immortal. Activate either her vampire or shapeshifter nature. Whichever is more dominant."

"And if she's just not ready?" Loki asked. "I don't know if we can wait around for another 700 years?" the god closed his eyes tilting his head towards the moon. Sniffing deeply, he ran his thumb and finger over the corners of his mouth sticking his tongue out like a kid.

"We're just going to have to speed things along, break a few of our own rules." Bacchus smiled wickedly.  "She'll need to be connected to someone with power. Generations worth. Someone strong, fierce."

The dark haired god nodded taking in a deep slow breath. "I think I know just who to attach her to. He's a prince..."

"A prince no less? Go on." Bacchus said raising an eyebrow, humour creeping into his features.

"Shapeshifter, werewolf to be exact. Family goes back generations, if I'm not mistaken back to when this all started, about 600 or 700 years ago. You remember." he moved a few feet arms crossed over his chest, before jumping up to grab hold of a tree branch, swinging from it.

" Remind me."

"Oaken. They were first turned during the 1200's...or so. Anyways, strong bunch. There is one who's part of a pack and is not mated."

"And why do you think that he'd be perfect for her? Other then the prince factor?" Bacchus asked. "Is he an alpha?"

"He's a prince, what does he need to be the alpha for?" he jumped down from the tree branch slapping his buddy on the shoulder. "Prince trumps alpha."

"And does your Oaken prince have a first name? Or is she just going to call him 'hey you' ?"

"Rolf. He's name is Rolf. Satisfied?"

Bacchus sighed as he rolled his eyes. "Okay, let's do this then. Let's find a way to get Nosferatu in the same place as Rolf. See what happens?"

Two hours ago...

Rolf sat in the bar waiting. He'd long since given up checking the time, and after seven drinks, found himself needing the bathroom. Getting up from his chair, the werewolf's attention was caught by a strange looking painting. Stopping in front of it for a few long seconds, he flashed back to when he was a kid, seeing the same piece of art work in his father's personal library.
It was of a mermaid being captured by the god Hermes, a spear held high in one hand, while a wild hell hound was held by the scruff of the neck in his other hand. The mermaid half out of the water on the shore, the hell hound inches away from her tail. The whole scene was done in a dark shade of grey, as if happening at night, large oak trees surrounding the area behind them. Rolf shivered as he flashed on the painting, remembering how angry his father had been when him and one of his brothers had taken the painting down from it's spot on the wall to examine it closer. The male's heart raced just thinking about it, how not just himself and his one brother had been punished, but how all the kids had been because of it.
Mermaids were dangerous, and for some reason unknown to Rolf even all these years later, greatly despised by his father.  A curse, he would say spitting, waggling his finger at them as he did.

Rolf entered the bathroom just as a wave of dizziness hit him. Closing his eyes tight, he fell back against the wall, his palm up to his forehead. Something was wrong. He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. He listened, expecting it to be Harker, for this to be the moment, but it wasn't. His relief was short lived as he realized then it was Nosferatu.
He got a glimpse of her standing in front of a large tree, her delicate pale fingers flicking at a old weathered dream catcher. One of Dagan's that he randomly abandoned. Our heroine had come across it. It meant they were that much closer to home.

Rolf hated this. Hated being connected so intimately to the female. Closer to her then even her own mate was. It bothered him, disgusted him, feeling her emotions like this, knowing that there was nothing he could do about it.

He also envied her. Envied her for being able to love.

Snarling, Rolf pushed the image away, bottled up the experience and managed to block her from him long enough to use the bathroom.

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your (straight up story...a prince no less...)

Year 3 Day 99

movie: Soul Food
starring: Vivica A Fox, Nia Long
genre: Drama, Food
year: 1997
format: Netflix Canada

plot: A family deals with the loss of their mother, leaving the grandson to put the pieces back together, the only way he can think of; by getting everyone to come to Sunday dinner.

This is roughly a two hour movie, but it took me closer to three to watch because I'm a crier and I had to stop the movie at lest four times cause it got me crying.

It opens up with the family together, pretty much all happy, and in an emotionally good place. Then one tragic thing sets off a chain of events, which leads to everyone breaking down and expressing their hurts/fears/anxieties towards each other. And in the tradition of all great food movies, it takes a big meal to sort it all out.

I think that's what makes this type of film so good. The fact that when you do a "dinner film" like this one is, it's based in real life families and traditions, which everyone on the planet can identify with on some level. 
I think everyone at some point has been part of the big dinner where you're life's secrets spilled out, and tough choices are made/lessons learned.

And the lesson within the sub-plot of this film? Family. Pure and simple. Doesn't matter if it's the one you're born into or one you make yourself apart of, in the end it's all we've got.  That and maybe some really great recipes that should always be remembered.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Year 3 Day 98

movie: That's My Boy
starring: Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg
year: 2012
format: Netflix Canada

plot: In 1984, a thirteen year old has an affair with is teacher and end up having a kid. Thirty years later, broke and about to be thrown in jail for not paying taxes, Donny finds his estranged son, who's doing well for himself. Hearing about the boy's soon to be wedding, he manages to get a talk show host to agree to a reunion show with the three of them. Along the way, more secrets are uncovered as Donny and his son find common ground.

So, I find myself have sat through another Adam Sandler movie. I keep saying how I'm not much of a fan of his and somehow, I end up finding myself sitting through his movies. I question my own sanity in moments like this.

With that said, it wasn't bad. I like the addition of Vanilla Ice as a version of himself, and the story itself was at times funny and well written. Also liked that they cast Susan Sarandon and her daughter to play the present and past versions of the teacher.

Beyond that, there isn't much to say about this movie. It relies heavily on it's 1980's references and is filled once again with SNL cast members.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

year 3 day 97

movie: Twixt
starring; Val Kilmer, Bruce Dern
genre: Film Noir, Thriller,
year: 2011/2012
format: DVD

plot: While doing autograph signings in a small town, author Hall Baltimore finds himself suddenly wrapped up in the sheriff's latest unsolved murder. The sheriff has the idea that it's a serial killer/vampire hunter who's doing it, and convinces Hall to co-author a detective novel with him. After agreeing, Hall finds himself with writer's block, and starts to dream about the main plot of the novel. His personal spirit guide being Edgar Allan Poe.

Okay, first off, this is a Francis Ford Coppola movie, but this is a far cry from Bram Stoker's Dracula. Half the movie is done in black and white, to represent the dream sequences, while the "real life" is done in colour. Not that you can really tell them apart given the story just seems to be one continuous roll.

You have to give him credit for trying to reinvent the vampire film. With such a nod to gothic literature, the surrealism works for some scenes, but not for others. It at times, edges on the ridiculous.  But with that said, this plays beautifully.  It's almost like all the major classic vampire stories are here, from Carmilla, to Polidori's The Vamypre, to the movie version of Nosferatu.  It takes heavily the ideas of outsiders being able to corrupt and steal innocence and plays on the fears of sexuality. (Much in the same way Dracula does.)

The story does get a bit confusing given Poe is telling his version of the story to Hall, claiming he knew the girl in question in the 1800's, the girl's death is suppose to have happened in 1955, and Hall is experiencing this in 2011.  The fact that time seems to run amuck and none of the clocks in the town are ever right, just adds to the disjointedness of the story.  Which is a great tool for expressing vampirism in itself. Time is a vampire- A vampire is timeless.

There is just so many layers to this particular movie, that at first glance it seems like cotton-fluff, sticky sweet like it would have been better suited for a three minute rock video (think Marylin Manson here) but as the movie progresses, you start to see the elements that it really pulls from.

What I liked is that it is different, but with such familiar moments to it that clearly identifies it as a vampire story. You're left wondering if everything about the vampires were real or imagined, left wondering how much of the characters' personal guilt is driving them, left wondering what it was that really drove the first round of killings to happen?

Monday, August 11, 2014

Year 3 Day 96

movie: The Hundred Foot Journey
starring: Helen Mirren, Manish Dayal
genre: Drama, Comedy, Romance, Food
year: 2014
format: Cinema

plot: After loosing everything in a fire, a family leave India and make their way to France, where they open a restaurant just mire feet from an already established Michelin star restaurant. Soon, the two owners are butting heads, which leads to a former employee taking things too far. In a gesture to make amends, the owner of the Michelin star restaurant hires the up and coming chef, creating a chance for both restaurants to become famous.

This is based on the book. 

I have been looking forward to this film since I first saw the trailer few months ago.  It's a slow go, but the scenes are shot so delicately, that you can't help but fall in love with it.  
There are a few love stories happening here.  One between the owners, one between the two young chefs, and one between Dayal's character and food itself.  Which is a trend lately with food films, this multi-layered love story. 

As much as this story is about accepting others and the differences we all have, it's about staying true to your passion and never letting anyone bring you down.

I have to get my hands on the book now.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Year 3 Day 95

movie: Bridesmaids
starring: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig
genre: Comedy
year: 2011
format: Netflix Canada

plot: After being life long best friends, a woman is asked to be the maid of honor at her friend's wedding, but finds it ruins her life.

I didn't like it.
Everyone and their dog's grandmother was telling me how funny this movie was, and how I just had to see it. I found it difficult to sit through, and actually turned it off at one point, but turned it back on because I hate not finishing a movie.
It just seemed the gags were stuff we've seen before, the whole sub-plot of the loosing the best friend to someone new has been done a million times over, usually with teenagers, and seriously how many more wedding themed movies can there really be?

It just felt like high school with better clothes.

I fully expected the end to have the two competing bridesmaids to open a party planning bakery together or something; actually surprised they ended the film without an element like that.

What can I say, just didn't care for it.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Year 3 Day 94

movie: The Other Woman
starring: Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann
genre: Comedy
year: 2014
format: Shaw Video On Demand

plot: When a stay at home wife learns that her husband is cheating on her, she starts up a friendship with the mistress, as they begin to get revenge on the guy. Soon, they learn they are not the only one's he's cheated on. When a third woman enters the picture, they take matters to the bank.

This is one of those films that could have gone either way. There were enough laugh out loud moments in this buddy film for it to be good, but it really was predictable. I kept thinking of the movie First Wives Club the whole time I was watching this. 

There is a scene where the wife loads the cheating husband's shampoo bottle with hair remover, which could have been a great comedy plot point, but the actor continued to have a full head of hair throughout the film almost undoing the point of the scene.

I would like to see Mann and Diaz do another buddy film together, as they seemed to have great chemistry, too bad the script just felt rehashed. 

Friday, August 8, 2014

The Nosferatu Adventures S5 p20

The Nosferatu Adventures
page 151, chapter 151

The male sat on his heels by the edge of the lake, batting at the water, teasing a small fish, the sun sparkling off the surface like candied jewels. He twitched his head to the side as a dragonfly buzzed near his ears, threatening to tangle in his hair.  Smirking to himself he stood as the now caught pike was flopping in his hand. Finn whistled as he brought his catch of the day to his nose, inhaling deeply.

"You know, if you really miss it so much, I can give you back your former shape." the female voice said from behind him. Startled, the familiar dropped the fish, water splashing him in the face. Jumping back, the male hissed as he ran both hands over his face at the droplets.

"What makes you think I miss being a cat? And who are you?" he held his hand then to his side, fingers flexing and ready to toss an energy ball.  The female shrugged as she walked around the male.

"Just a witch without a familiar of her own." she licked her lips flicking her wrist in a circle. Finn clutched at his chest, falling to the ground screaming in pain. He felt his ribs cracking, his throat beginning to close as his human vocal cords collapsed. All the bones in his body shifting from that of a human to that of a cat.

Shaking himself off, the cat then dashed around the witch as fast as possible, heading deeper into the woods as fast as he could.


Tombstone had caught the scent of something, and had followed it up the main path. The half timber wolf-half hell hound liked to explore the woods behind the cabin, never too far away from the rest of the timber wolves or from their new sitter. Harker talked to them all as if they were humans, most likely to keep himself from going insane. Tombstone liked it. Liked the sound of human voices when they told stories. It was soothing.
The animal's nose twitched then, almost burning as he smelled something not quite right. Howling, he followed it to a large tree. The beast had been around magic enough in his short life to know what it smelled like. And this smelled fresh. Growling, he clawed at the tree unable to climb up it's heavy bark, or jump to it's lower limbs.
Something jumped down then from the lush greenery about ten feet up, landing on the beast's back. Snapping his fangs, Tombstone turned to see a small marmalade coloured ball of fur run back in the direction of the cabin. The hell-hound took off after it, having caught the scent of magic drifting off it in waves.

Finn raced towards Ash's cabin, praying that someone was there that could help. Praying that our heroine would be there and realize it was him.  The cat zipped through the front yard, past the outdoor oven, up the small porch stairs, coming to a sudden stop in front of the closed door.
He jumped up on his hind legs clawing and meowing like mad for someone to let him in. The hell hound hot on his trail growling and barking as he ran towards the cabin. Just when the familiar thought he was about to be killed, the front door opened.

Harker jumped out of the way as the marmalade coloured cat tore into the cabin, Tombstone a hair's breath behind.  "I knew the second I dropped that damned fork there'd be company."  The male mumbled to the rest of the timber wolves as he put his toothbrush back into his mouth.


The witch held her distance just outside of the property. Swearing under her breath, she shivered at the sight of the hell hound. She cleared her throat and started to call for the cat. "Kitty, kitty kitty..." hoping that Harker would think she was just looking for her pet. But the door was already closed to the cabin, and no one was listening. "I'm going to have what's mine. Even if I have to kill everyone in that house to do so."

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your (straight up story.  Finn might have nine lives but poor Harker doesn't...)

Year 3 Day 93

movie: Moonstruck
starring: Cher, Nicolas Cage
genre: Drama, Romance, Comedy
year: 1987
format: Shaw Video On Demand

plot: When asked to contact her soon to be brother-in-law and tell him about the wedding, a woman ends up starting an affair with him. In the course of things, she then learns about the affair her father is also having with someone in the neighbourhood, while her mother considers one herself.

How can you not love this movie?  Nicolas Cage and Cher. Nicolas Cage ranting like a mad hatter. Nicolas Cage talking about bread and steak and having it seem like he's discussing the meaning of life. The dude can act.
And Cher. Even when the woman is suppose to be looking like she gave up on life, she still looks like a goddess.

The chemistry between the two leads is bang on nailed. This should be shown in acting classes for romantic pairing 101. They manage to take some very mundane tasks/conversations and turn the heat up on them, making them both enjoyable and entertaining.

There is so much richness to this movie, from the view of a traditional ethnic family, to the anti-fairy tale-fairy tale love story, to the food.  Almost everything happens with some sort of food involved, from the Cher character buying a bottle of wine and witnessing the owners of the store having a passionate chat, to the simple family gathering around the breakfast table to accept the final outcomes.

One of the lines that I like the most is when Cage says "You waited the first time for the right man, why didn't you wait this time?"   And Cher answers "He didn't show up."
Cage "I'm here now."    Cher "Well you're late."   
Isn't that the basis of real love, of starting over when we think there's nothing left?  I think what appeals most about this movie is that element of surprise when you have settled into the idea of it couldn't get any better so I'd better accept. Then it does. You find that one person/thing/job/hobby etc that blows your mind.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

year 3 Day 92

movie: A Fantastic Fear of Everything
starring: Simon Pegg, Clare Higgins
genre: Comedy, Crime,
year: 2012
format: Netflix Canada

plot: A writer, who is trying to break away from children's stories and write true crime, becomes afraid of everything during the weeks he's researching. After his editor tells him he needs to do his laundry in order to meet a publisher, he admits he finally has to face his biggest fear, the laundromat. Once there, he admits his fear is rooted in a major childhood trauma of the day his mother abandoned him. He soon finds himself arrested, kidnapped and almost murdered.

Okay, I love pretty much anything that has Simon Pegg in it.  This starts off with the feel of a stage play, as the first half is almost all Pegg with little interaction from anyone else. I loved the odd, but very British touch of the clay animation near the end of the film when his character is trying to subdue the kidnapper with one of his children's stories.

The mind of a writer can be a strange and unnaturally illogical place at any given time, and this film nails that to the dart board, with every little paranoid twitch Pegg plays, including super gluing a large knife to his hand.
There seemed to be a slight nod to The Secret Window by Stephen King, with the beginning of madness expressed by the Pegg character, and  his unwillingness to go outside for the first half.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Year 3 Day 91

movie: Haute Cuisine
starring: Catherine Frot, Arly Jover
genre: Food, Drama, Biography,
year: 2012
format: Netflix Canada

plot: A French chef is asked to be the personal cook to the President of the French Republic, and is faced with countless road blocks by other staff members. The two years she spent working there is inter-cut with her last few days working as a cook in Antarctica.

This is based on a true story.

Oh my god, don't watch this on an empty stomach! The food in this movie could give all the food scenes in Julie/Julia a major run for it's money. The whole tone of the film is comforting and daring and simple yet refined, as the food moves you from one emotion to another. This is more then just "food porn" this is a rare comforting passion in every scene. 

You see the lead teaching her sous-chef at the same time, learning from him in such a way, you are drawn back and forth between two ideals; that of a mother and son and on the other hand, like two people delicately flirting. This has a hint of courtly love to it. Not just in the dynamics of the chef and sous-chef, but of her and the president as well. Their scenes, which consists of them talking about their favourite recipes and sharing a truffle sandwich, gives you to understand what real respect should look like.

This is a beautifully done movie that leaves you wanting more. More of the food and more of the story. All the actors nailed their characters, dipping and diving into the complications of their relationships, while still making it seem like a surface shuffle. (manner and etiquette have a strangle hold on many of the characters ability to show any real emotions while at work)

If you don't mind subtitles, then I say watch this one...after dinner.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Coffee Talk Aug 4th 2014

I never realized how tiring moving could be?  I spent the better part of last week sorting through boxes of old drawings, files, and random pages from long forgotten manuscripts that didn't get finished. My fingertips are still covered in paper cuts and slightly swollen.
Also, during most of that time, I lived off of power bars and bottled water.  To say that all I've been doing since Saturday is stuffing my face with everything in sight, is an understatement.

Not everything has survived the move intact. I went to plug in my printer this morning only to find the power cord is missing completely. It's on the "to do list" this week when I get to the store. Picking up a power cord, which I'm hoping is doable given the printer is a few years old.

It was one of those afternoons, where all I wanted to do was kick back and watch a familiar movie. It seemed appropriate to watch either Julie/Julia or Under the Tuscan Sun, given they are both about moving and starting over 
Here's the thing. I couldn't find either of them.  The two dvds were in the same box, this I know for fact, only that box seems to have fallen victim to the lack of space in this new place.  Ironic when you think about it. Lucky for me, Netflix Canada has Julie/Julia available.

This got me thinking. (always dangerous) Thinking about the fact my new almost never used kitchen, is nothing but a hallway. I could fit this kitchen, the front hall and the 'breakfast nook' into what used to be my old kitchen and still have space left over.

Why might you be thinking am I going on about this?   Well, just sort of wanted to draw a connecting line between the movie and the day.  That, and I'm looking for a bit of inspiration. Spent about an hour kicking around looking at other blogs on the topic of Julie/Julia. All these years later, and it's still a hot topic. That's a good thing in the most part.
A lot of the comments on the blogs had to do with ignoring their husbands while in pursuit of their blog bliss. Me, I don't have that luxury. There is however, a very large brown eight legged furry spider that I've been doing my best to ignore all day.  (dude, seriously it crawled under the bathroom door this morning stopped, turned around and crawled back out; as if to say 'hi how you doing?') I have no idea where it went, nor do I really want to.

Okay, so I think I've talked enough right now. Ramen with red onion and green peppers and broccoli for supper tonight.

year 3 Day 90

movie: Pieces of April
starring: Katie Holmes, Patricia Clarkson
genre: Drama
year: 2003
format: Shaw Video On Demand

plot: After learning her mother only has a few months to live, a young woman decides to put all their differences aside and make a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for her family. The day starts off with the knowledge that her oven isn't working and she spends half the day hopping from one neighbour's apartment to the other trying to cook the meal.

This was a strange and sad movie. You see an extreme of personalities as people both come together to help, while others do their best to sabotage the day. From her boyfriend getting mugged and beat up while buying a suit, to her own sister coning everyone into going to a diner instead, to a middle aged couple teaching April to cook, and another family in her building that does not celebrate the holiday opening their lives to her.

It's one of those films that asks you to look deep into your own heart and see what really lies there. There is a sub-theme of "don't judge a book by it's cover."  Which is played out in both the characters actions and some physical items (like the repaired turkey that had been butchered by a mean neighbour that is cosmetically repaired with dough)

It comes across to me as a one note. The lead is played a little too disconnected for me. I liked the idea behind this film, but not so much the outcome.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Year 3 Day 89

movie: Trailer Park Boys 3 Don't Legalize It
starring: Robb Wells, Mike Smith
genre: Comedy, Drama,
year: 2014
format: Shaw Video On Demand

plot: Bubbles learns that his parents have died and left him a house in Ontario, Julian has gotten into a drug related business, while Ricky learns that the Canadian government is seriously considering legalizing the growing and selling of pot; which upsets him. The three decide to take a trip mid-way across Canada to deal with these issues, all the while unaware that Mr. Lahey and Randy have set them up for a drug bust.

This is said to be the final installment of the movie series of the franchise. But, with seasons 9 and 10 about to be released, you have to wonder?

I really liked this movie. It played more like a season of the show, which gave it a bit of a body that the two previous films (Big Dirty and Countdown to Liquor Day) just seemed to be lacking.

These are such iconic characters, with a soap opera like history to them, that if you are a fan you can't help but sit back and be saying at any given time "that is so Ricky/Julian/Bubbles" etc.  I think part of the appeal of the whole thing is that at any point, you know you're nodding and seeing either elements of yourself or people you know/knew.

There is a strange balance of complete immaturity and basic need to get by. The growth of the characters never completely happens, at lest not during the hour and a half given to this film. It will only be noticeable if you have been a fan of the tv show and previous films. In other words, this just is not a stand alone film. Which is part of it's charm. 

It's never really clear on if it's actually in favour of the legalization or not?  It makes arguments for both sides of the actual law, in it's own mixed up Ricky-ish way.  I think that's another piece of it's over-all appeal; that you have a serious topic handled in an offbeat but respectable way.

I could literally just sit here for another twenty minutes going on about how much apart of the Canadian landscape the Trailer Park Boys have become, but I'm just going to say rent it.