Monday, February 29, 2016

year 5 day 89

movie: Innocence
starring: Kelly Reilly, Graham Phillips
format:Netflix Canada

plot: After her mother dies, a young girl begins going to a private school, and begins to find clues that not all is as it seems.

Based on the book

Right off, I have not read the book so I have no idea how this differs. But, this was terrible. The casting of Graham Phillips (The Good Wife) Noelle Beck (Loving, As The World Turns, Sex and the City) and Stephanie March (Law and Order) should have made this a better movie. The three were misused, with Beck and March being given only a minute of screen time and one line each. Either could have bulked up the lead making it more powerful. But instead, Kelly Reilly's performance doesn't do what it should.

To say the plot is thin is more then an understatement. It's non-existent. Grieving kid, private school with secrets, and nothing comes of it till the last two minutes. It's only then we are given the big secret, which is Lamia. The name of which is given sort of last minute by the young girl almost out of nowhere. But nothing is built on it. And then it gets muddled. It's obvious the producers wanted to keep the lamiae ambiguous, because they've got them sort of a coven of evil witches sort of succubi sort of immortal serial killers. Had they introduced the concept earlier in the film and actually built on the idea it would have worked. But sadly, there's no real dread given to the characters.

what did I learn? If you're going to use real folklore, then explore the damned folklore.

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Year 5 Day 88 (Night Bleeds February)

movie: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter
starring: Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper
genre: Action,
year: 2012
format: DVD

plot: After seeing his mother killed by a vampire, Lincoln grows up to become one of the most successful vampire hunters in history.

based on the book

Two things right off - A) this is one of those times when I liked a movie more then the book it's based on and B) Jimmi Simpson.  I almost crossed out the lead actor in the starring part in favour of the actor who plays Speed, one of the sidekicks. Why? Because he's just cooler.  Seriously, he's got a fairly smaller role but he can do more with a raised eyebrow then the lead can with a monologue.

One thing that sort of stood out like a sore thumb, were the day for night scenes. I get that not every single nighttime scene can be shot at night for a variety of reasons, but shooting in what seems like the highest part of the day, and just slapping a blue filter on it, no matter how good the acting in the scene just manages to ruin the whole thing. For me anyways, I get pulled out of the moment seeing a scene done that way.
Dominic Cooper, on the other hand steals the show. In fact, both Cooper and Rufus Sewell who play the two lead vampires, draw you in. I would love to see them come back in a prequel.  Sewell has one scene where he's talking to a human, offering two glasses; one of wine and one for himself which is suppose to be blood. When his companion says no, the character takes a sip from his own glass then spits it out, having taken the wine by mistake. That is one of the best laughs in the film.

I know this movie gets gritted on for being almost half CGI, but there are just too many scenes that wouldn't have been workable otherwise. There are a lot of characters that were cut out of the story, or combined, which worked on the most part. I think my big complaint for this movie is that not enough dates were given. The timeline was a bit jumpy; specially for those of us non-Americans who never studied US history.

what did I learn? Dominic Cooper looks great in fangs.

The Book:  A young man has his life interrupted when a vampire hands him a stack of journals telling him he needs to first read them, then get the information out to the public. He begins reading it, and learns that it is the lost secret diary of Abraham Lincoln, who as it turns out was one of the greatest vampire hunters to have ever lived.  We then begin to follow the life of Lincoln from the tragic events of his mother's death at the hands of a vampire, through his teenaged years bent on revenge, to his unwittingly teaming up with the vampire Henry in order to learn how to hunt and kill vampires, all the way through the meetings of the two women in his life and finally his time as president.

The story is based around the idea that vampires are feeding off of slaves. This causes a great divide between two fractions of vampires, those who want to continue and those who do not. This is represented by the two American political parties. The side that is helping the vampires are refusing to see facts, which is when the vampires run out of slaves, they will turn on those slave owners, in turn creating a new race of slaves. While the other fraction, sees things for what they are, and refuses to continue on in such a manor.  
There's actually a great scene, about halfway in the book, where Lincoln is given the name of a vampire to hunt, and he comes across a very elaborate blood factory given it was in the 1800's. The idea isn't new, it's been used a hundred times over in vampire stories, but it steps out of the rest of the them vs us issue. As you have a vampire feeding off of more then just slaves and doing so in a way that keeps him under the radar for a really long time. He's sort of a good guy vamp sort of a bad guy vamp. But he represents that thin line in any debate that can easily lend to seeing both sides of the coin.
Henry supplies Lincoln with random names of vampires to hunt, and for a good portion of the story, they are at first appearances, harmless. Such as a scene where now a lawyer, Lincoln defends a woman in broad daylight unaware that she's a vampire. You get the impression that she's not one of the bad guys at all, then later that night, she ends up on the hunt list. First impressions might be that Henry is just trying to take out the competition, and clear the way so that he doesn't have to have any other vampires around.

You have the introduction of Edgar Allan Poe who connects the vampires in the American South, to Elizabeth Bathory, (something that was also done a few years before in the vampire movie Stay Alive which also starred Jimmi Simpson) stating that she fled Europe, bringing with her not just other vampires, but putting the whole idea down on her. As she slaughtered hundreds of servant girls over her lifetime. Thus, the rest of the vampire population started to follow suit, buying up slaves left right and center for the sole purpose of feeding off of.

We are given the vampire image as a metaphor for a different kind of oppression compared to Dracula.  Even the vampire good guys in this story, are unapologetic for who they are. None on either side are preaching about how they need to find other food sources, they all feed on human blood. The difference, being that the good guy vamps in this story, show restraint and compassion. Here the bad guy vamps prey on the slaves, while the good guys are preying on the thieves/pimps/murders ( one of many nods to Anne Rice's style)

There seems to be a trend in vampire fiction be it in books or movies or tv, where the lower US seems to be over run by vampires. From Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, to L.J. Smith's Vampire Diaries and the two tv shows it spawned (Vampire Diaries and The Originals) to the movie Stay Alive, now to this. 
One of the reasons, I liked the movie more was that fact it was more vampire less politics. I found the actual political side of the story to be bogged down. I was expecting more vampire mythos. There are a lot of differences between the movie and the book. As I said earlier in the post, some characters are left out, while others are combined. One big difference is that in the book, Mary Todd Lincoln, has no clue what's going on, while in the movie she does. The book talks about Lincoln falling in love during his youth, only to loose her as well to a vampire, and has two hunting partners for the early years.

That about wraps it up for me. March's selections are I Am Legend (book) and Omega Man (movie) Which I'll do the official announcement post for in a few days. The deadline for that will be Sunday March 27th 2016.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

year 5 day 87

movie: Cedar Rapids
starring: Ed Helms, John C Reilly
genre: Comedy, Drama
format: TV Edit

plot: An insurance salesman is selected by his boss to represent them at the annual convention, and finds himself in over his head.

You've got a guy who is having an sexual relationship with his former high school teacher, who believes pretty much everything everyone tells him and takes almost everything at face value. He's thrown into a situation that is not what it seems, when the party people he's been told to avoid end up becoming his best friends, and the people he's been told to cling to are the ones scamming everyone.

The first half seemed to be very religious with it's slant, which quickly got dropped. I don't know if that was the point or just the way it was edited for tv?
This felt like a grown up version of some teen movie. Not really a revenge of the nerds style, but one of those generic teen movies where everyone becomes friends and live happily ever after.

I kinda get the idea that the main theme was suppose to be about not listening to rumours, and being able to look beyond the surface noise, but with it being edited for television, I can't say if that's the point of the film or just the version the editing gave it?

what did I learn? I think I missed the whole point of it

Friday, February 26, 2016

year 5 day 86

movie: Lemony Snicket A Series of Unfortunate Events
starring Jim Carrey, Jude Law
genre Comedy, Fantasy,
year 2004
format Netflix Canada

plot: After three children become orphans, they arrive at three different homes with three different guardians. The only problem is one wants them dead.

Based on the books.

I sort of want to say that this stars Jim Carrey, Jim Carrey and Jim Carrey, as he actually in a sense plays three different characters...sort of. He's got the role of the villain who then disguises himself as two other characters in order to get the children away from their other guardians later on.  I have to admit, I wasn't going into it with much faith given it was a children's movie, but I'm actually glad I sat through this one.
Meryl Streep plays the last of the guardians, who's character is a paranoid widow afraid of everything from the fridge falling on her to the idea of the doorhandles exploding. It's in a twisted way, a very charming character. The half Victorian gothic-half modern elements makes the film very surreal in every step; the colour palate blacks/whites/greys. The mood being set it never feels depressing, instead it just adds to the idea that this is a world outside of the norm. The staging put me in mind of the Cat in the Hat, but where that one failed, this one excels.
I also liked the idea that we never fully see Jude Law as he's always in the shadows as the narrator. Which adds to the surrealism of the whole thing. You keep expecting it to reveal him as one of the grown up children or to find out he's the son of one of them or something, but he's just the narrator.

what did I learn? I would love to say that I came away from this with a big a-ha moment, but I fell into the imagery of it so much that I was mesmerized, and didn't really look for any moral of the stories.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

year 5 day 85

movie: Staying Alive
starring: John Travolta, Fiona Hughes
genre: Drama
year: 1983
format: Hollywood Suites Channel

plot: A couple of years after being a popular dancer at the clubs, a man tries to make a living in Broadway.

So this is the big sequel to Saturday Night Fever, and honestly, the dance segments seemed to blend into each other.  The story itself was a bit weak, he's rude to his girlfriend then cheats with the star of the show, who in turn is just using him, then he goes crawling back to his girlfriend who he talks into helping him prepare for the big show. There is one scene about midway where he's suppose to have had this big realization of what a jerk he is, but that doesn't seem to stick.

There seems to be a ton of jealousy and pride running through this. From the lead female who doesn't want him but doesn't want to see him back with his girlfriend, to him upstaging her on opening night. I kept waiting for the real movie to start, for something to actually happen, or a new character to be introduced, but it just didn't.
You are left with this odd nostalgia for the first movie, not because this one is any good, but because the first movie had just slightly more interesting characters.

what did I learn? This movie was just one big dance off, and I learned nothing.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

year 5 day 84

movie Galaxy Quest
starring Alan Rickman, Tim Allen
genre Comedy, Sci-fi
year 1999
format Netflix Canada

plot: A television cast are mistaken by a group of aliens as being an actual space crew and are asked to save their entire population.

This is a polite parody of Star Trek/Star Wars and the types of fans that keep those franchises alive.  I've rarely seen Alan Rickman doing comedy, so it at first not just seemed completely out of place, but he quickly makes the role enjoyable.
I wasn't sure if this was going to be a bit too slapstick, or go the opposite direction and try to be too serious; but it managed to balance the comedy with the type of sci-fi you would expect from the genre.

I actually liked the idea that the "fans" knew more about the widgets and ship then the "actors" did. As in the last half of the movie, Allen's character is forced to contact a fan he'd been rude to at a meet and greet, and ask him for blueprints of the ship. This then becomes a massive group effort with a few other fans all chipping in with their fanbased knowledge. And it's the fans that have the one answer no one else has been able to give, which is what does the object do that everyone is fighting over? Given the ship is based on the "show", and the object is never seen or used, no one can 100% say if it's going to save them or kill them.
One of the issues brought up is how the aliens have no concept of reality vs fantasy. They are innocent and childlike in their trust of the images they have grown up with. Believing that the tv show is actual historic footage. Even as one character is injured, he's barely able to grasp the concept that it was all "pretend".  As well, near the end of the film, we see the mega fan tell his parents what's going on, and they have no reaction, other then commenting that at lest he's out of the house.

what did I learn? Yeah, I have no clue...we as a society have become so disconnected from reality and reality is truly what you make it.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

year 5 day 83

movie:The Chosen One
starring: Rob Schneider, Peter Riegert
genre: Drama
format: Netflix Canada

plot: When a car salesman hits rock bottom, he finds himself the center of a prophecy.

Right off I've got to say it, the sound and picture quality are fuzzy; so much so I thought this film was from the 1990's. I was shocked when the year came up in the end credits.

The lead character believes he's worthless in the beginning of the movie, always being compared to everyone around him, and being pushed into situations by his friends and coworkers that he just doesn't want to be in but doesn't know how to stand up for himself. Then these Shamans show up on his doorstep telling him he's the chosen one. (insert Buffy quote here)  Around this time, he has already started to have odd dreams about a jungle, a hawk and a large door. This he learns is a mixture of his fears, a vision and a memory.

There is this running gag that all his dead plants come back to life once the Shamans show up, giving him some personal strength and opening him up to the world around him, only he doesn't seem to realize that's actually what's happening.
The in turn tell him that he needs to save a hawk they saw on the news in order to fulfill the destiny they saw for him. Sacrificing everything he knows, everything he's accepted to that point.
At one point, we are introduced to his brother who is in fact a monk. I thought the story was going to unfold that the Shamans were suppose to be looking for him, not the lead but it never plays out that way.

what did I learn? Destiny just can't be ruled.

Monday, February 22, 2016

year 5 day 82

movie: Excalibur
starring:Helen Mirren, Nigel Terry
genre:Adventure, Fantasy
format: Hollywood Suites Channel

plot:The fable of Camelot and King Arthur unravel as he's betrayed by those around him.

It's no secret that I love stories that fall into the "sword and sorcery" genre. Specially when there is more sorcery then anything else, and for years every time someone started mentioning this film, I would say I hadn't seen it, and they would raise an eyebrow at me promptly telling me how much I'll love the film.  They all lied.  There is something about the whole King Arthur thing that just doesn't interest me. I can't put my finger on it, but the stories in general leave me cold. But, for some reason, it keeps popping up lately.

Here, we have what could only be described as one of the most contrite few hours of storytelling. It is suppose to span over about 50 or so years, but there is no real indication of time, which made it jarring to sit through. 
A lot of it happened in dream sequences. Sort of on the idea of astral projection, specially with the spell work that seemed to be happening. The knights ended up in odd vision quests/hex induced nightmares that really lent itself to the era it was coming off from. Very trippy.

The beginning introduced the idea that Arthur's father was just beyond greedy, a letch who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. And he does in the form of stealing his once friend's wife, killing his friend, and using a spell to do so. Years later, the step daughter uses the same glamour spell to seduce her brother Arthur and gives birth to their son. You almost get the impression that there is an incestuous relationship between Morgana and her son as well. Merlin is sort of this ambiguous character who you never really know what side he's on? He put me in mind of a trickster through all his scenes. Almost like the magick mirror in Snow White, telling the truth only to infuriate.

what did I learn? This movie was unclear in it's motives and about an hour too long.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

year 5 day 81

movie: Path of Souls
starring:Adam Beach, Gary Farmer
year: 2012
format:TV Edit

plot: A young widow goes on a road trip with her late husband's best friend in order to complete the research he was doing on Native spirituality when he died.

Wow. This was not what I thought from the commercial at all. It made it seem like it was going to be one of those made for tv style romances where the widow falls in love with the best friend; but dude, so not the case here.  This is best described like a cross between What the Bleep Do We Know?  and The Celestine Prophecy.  You get this massive dose of quantum mysticism, and a small storyline to tie it all together.
I know this isn't listed as a documentary, but there's no mistaking the monologues as the lectures they are as the movie progresses. What starts off as chats about Native traditions in the first half of the movie, quickly turns into science class midway. Once they got to the part where they were in the U.S. after spending the majority of the film traveling across Canada, the story falls away to the pure science of rocks and sound waves and quantum physics.  

what did I learn? There were chunks of this movie that were over my head. I just didn't get a lot of the science

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Year 5 Day 80

movie: Still Crazy
starring: Bill Nighy,  Billy Connolly
genre:Drama, Comedy,
format: Hollywood Suites Channel

plot: A band from the 1970's gets back together for a reunion 20 years later, but can't seem to keep it together

This reminds me so much of both More Bad News, and Hard Core Logo. Both of which came out before this. And it seems to find the balance between the comedy of Bad News and the drama of HCL.
Each of the characters are dealing with having gotten over 40, having gotten heavily in debt, and having settled for a life they never really wanted. All reeling from the loss of their core band member decades before which was the main cause of them breaking up.  There are two scenes where the band are asking if what they are doing is really worth it, and they stumble across someone playing their old tapes and someone else wearing one of their old t-shirts. Taking those as positive signs, they forge forward as planned.

There are a few moments where the idea that a lifestyle like that can lead to nothing but the loss of oneself, as one of the guys is a recovering addict, and another is recovering from a mental breakdown.

what did I learn? Some dreams are worth one last push.

Friday, February 19, 2016

year 5 day 79

movie:Sisterhood of Night
starring: Kal Penn, Georgie Henley
format: online

plot: After being humiliated at school, a group of girls decide to dump their internet profiles, and not share anymore secrets.

Based on a short story

Okay, so what we've got here is a metaphor in not so uncertain terms for the Salem witch trials. The trailer makes it out to be a movie about witches, but in the end it's about a group of girls who are just trying to get through high school alive.
We see them battle rumours of witchcraft, and sexual abuse among other conspiracies. One of the girls is accused of having an affair with a teacher, while one bully is causing the hysteria via the internet. As the bullying and lies continue, other students come forward with real abuse issues.

This movie reminded me a lot of the 1996 film Foxfire. About a group of girls who are also dealing with the same issues. This has a younger cast, and I think it sort of missed it's mark.
The villain turns out to be a hero by accident, by having started the abuse rumours, which in the end leads others to have the courage to speak up. Which I suppose is how life really goes sometimes.

what did I learn? We live too much in the hopes of adoration and not enough for ourselves these days

Thursday, February 18, 2016

year 5 day 78

movie: How To Be Single
starring: Rebel Wilson, Leslie Mann
genre:Drama, Comedy, Romance

plot: A group of single women deal with the ups and downs of finding themselves and new romances.

This is based on the book.

This is listed as being the number one comedy in Canada right now, and honestly, I have no idea why?  It wasn't funny, at all. I did not laugh, neither did anyone else in the screening room with me today.

This follows two sisters, their best friend, and a chick they sort of know through their bartender.  It wants to be Sex and the City, but it just doesn't hold up.  The whole time I kept thinking about other movies in this vein like He's Just Not That Into You, Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve.  Most of which, I just didn't care for. And I thought it could have been 10 minutes shorter then it was, the ending just dragged on.

The male characters that drift into their lives are sort of one dimensional, the bartender who can't commit and sleeps with the main character, the ex boyfriend who doesn't know what he wants, the single dad who's too afraid of his past, and the younger man who is too eager to jump into things. It just left me feeling like I had watched a bunch of SATC table scraps.  It kinda comes as no surprise the writer of He's Just Not that Into You wrote this, as well as the same production company having been behind it.

what did i learn? We don't need anymore New York based SATC knockoffs.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

year 5 day 77

movie:About Adam
starring: Stuart Townsend, Kate Hudson
format:TV Edit

plot: A young man seduces an entire family

You have a character who you know after the first five minutes is going to be the bad guy, only he ends up being less the villain and more the hero. Even though he willingly and on purpose seduces an entire family. Starting first with the youngest daughter, then the middle sister, the brother, the mother and finally the oldest sister.  He tells each a completely different lie to make up his history, half of which they believe and half which they don't. Two of the sisters catch him cheating but do nothing about it.

There were some odd similarities to Dracula. There is a scene where they are actually at a stage version of Dracula, and the second sister begins comparing Victorian women to some of the situations they were themselves in, identifying the Townsend character to that of the fictional count. This is expressed later on when the two are having sex and she becomes liberated by the very notion that the story of Dracula was trying to help express.
Later on at the end of the film, the youngest sister, the character of Lucy, is about to get married and is wearing a headdress similar to that of the character Lucy in the 1992 version of Dracula. The youngest sister is the first to be seduced (just like in Dracula) but is also the most wild to begin with, already having many men to chose from (again just like in Dracula) Both stories are about the sexual repression of the main "family of characters" and how one man draws them out of themselves. Including a parallel to the whole Dracula/Renfield relationship between the character of Adam and the one brother.

This surprisingly has a "happy ending". With Lucy and Adam declaring their acceptance to each other and agreeing to be willing to allow the other their secrets.  It made the ending feel over the top and sadly too hollywood for me.

what did I learn? What you see isn't always what you are getting.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

year 5 day 76

Movie: Slow Learners
starring:Adam Pally, Sarah Burns
format:Netflix Canada

plot:Two friends who can't seem to get dates, decide to spend the summer reinventing themselves.

So you have two shy friends, he's a school guidance councilor and she's the school librarian. She's also in love with his next door neighbour. The crush of course goes unnoticed for the first half of the film.
The lead female is completely unlikable of a character. She gets her "ideal female" model from watch bad reality tv, and ends up becoming not only a drunk but a grown up high school mean girl. The lead male character, on the other hand is a bit more believable, as he seems to grow into himself.

It's a pretty cliched story. Both are unaware the other is head over heels in love with them through most of the movie, and act out of jealousy with who they end up dating. Which is complicated when they finally sleep together. And through the course of things, they end up loosing their friends.

what did i learn? cool clothes do not equal cool times

Monday, February 15, 2016

year 5 day 75

movie: The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
starring:Maggie Smith, Bill Nighy
format: Netflix Canada

plot:After finding success with his hotel for seniors, the hotel manager is hoping to branch out and open a second one, but first must impress the hotel inspector.

This movie plays around with the ideas of mistaken identity, second chances, loneliness, betrayal and what people will do to combat them. There are a few small rivalries between the hotel manager and his girlfriend's best male friend, who it at first appears is trying to take her from him. We watch him become blinded by his dream of a second hotel, to the point of ignoring not just her but his customers.

Meanwhile, half the rest of the characters are trying to figure out just how to start over with careers and relationships while all in their 60's and 70's. One of the characters, believes he's accidentally, put a hit out on his wife. He spends a good chunk of the film trying to keep her from death, while in the end she's actually been having  an affair because she feels he's bored with her.

I'm not sure what I thought of this film? It draws a balance between beginnings and ending fairly well, sea-sawing between the two elements.

what did I learn? Take a risk

Sunday, February 14, 2016

year 5 day 74

movie: Robin and Marion
starring:Sean Connery, Audrey Hepburn
format: Hollywood Suites Channel

plot: After spending 20 years fighting in the crusades, Robin Hood returns to find everything has changed, including the fact Marion is now a nun.

There is a great line in the first few minutes when Robin learns the big treasure he was sent to collect from a broken down castle isn't real "I'm fighting for a rock."  And then it's pretty much down hill from there.
I was expecting more of a traditional Robin Hood story, and was bit let down. Robin makes this grand return to England only to find that nothing is how he remembered, no one is waiting around for them, in fact everyone has moved on with their lives. He then acts like he barely remembers Marion, all the while asking about her first change he gets. And eventually tracking her down at an abbey.
He then tries to save her against her will, as she's about to be arrested because the current king isn't religious. Not too mention the old grudge with the Sheriff, which ends bloody.

For the first fifteen minutes this is a comedy, then for the next hour it's a romance, and the last twenty minutes it's one long fight scene. All the time pointing out the fact everyone has gotten old. Even the big battle at the end, the Sheriff is practically begging Robin just to given in for both their sakes. Kinda makes you wonder who's really out to prove what?

I do however, like the idea that true love never dies. That there can be that one person who you just never shake and who never quite shakes you.

what did I learn?: There is a fine line between stubbornness and honor.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

year 5 Day 73

movie: Deadpool
starring:Ryan Reynolds, Ed Skrein
year: 2016
format: Cinema

plot:A brute for hire, finds out he has cancer. He gets a visit from a guy claiming he can fix him, and turn him into a superhero. Agreeing to the experimental surgeries, he finds himself tortured and disfigured which triggers a mutation. The mutation leaves him unable to die, and he then sets out on revenge on the scientist who created him.

Based on the comic/graphic novels.

The first 10 seconds I knew I was going to dig this movie, the opening credits even had a sense of humour (starring -The World's Most Perfect Idiot, A Moody Teen, A CGI Character, A British Villain)

This is not your typical superhero movie, and I think that's why it works. More then once, you see him get a ton of weapons together to take into a big shoot out, only to loose the bag of guns. I thought it was both funny, and added to the idea that there was more to the design of the character.
I also loved the fact they tossed in as many references to so many of Reynolds previous works as they could, in such a tongue-in-cheek way. And since this character wears a mask, there were voice overs. I like when a movie you wouldn't normally expect to have dialogue, actually has dialogue. Because of the voice overs, they were able to fit dialogue into almost every corner of the action scenes.

Yes, the violence is jam packed wall to wall, but it's done in a tone that lets you know it's a comic book film. It's not too gory in other words. It's a revenge film, but and I love getting to say this, it's a Frankenstein film! He's kind of this lost soul to begin with, and once all the experiments are done to him, he becomes something else. This unstoppable creature that, thirsts for revenge. Humanity pretty much left the building.

what did I learn? This might be a "guy's movie" with the raw sex scenes, extreme violence and extreme swearing, but I've never seen an audience filled with so many other women since I went to see the first Sex and the City movie.  Ryan Reynold's naked arse might have something to do with it.

The Nosferatu Adventures s10 p4

The Nosferatu Adventures
page 252, chapter 252

Out of Time

The front doors of the building clicked closed behind him as he pocketed the building keys, shaking his head. He swore as he padded down his pockets, realizing he'd run out of cigarettes once again. Stepping of the small step to the main sidewalk, Roger headed in the direction of the nearest corner store.
He didn't make it out of the parking lot before an extremely pale hand had slammed him against the wall. The shadows seemed to part like a curtain, as his assailant leaned around the edge of the building.

"Roger, I need you to do something for me." our heroine's voice was smooth and emotionless as she moved from him just an inch. "I need to know which side of the apartment Edward's bedroom is?"

"The right?" he said swallowing hard. "That thing you did earlier with your eyes..." he brought his hand up gesturing to his face.

"Your right or my right? If I was standing in the hallway of the building looking into the apartment, would I turn this way or that?" she asked trying to keep the older male focused.

" left your right." he said stammering raising his left arm. "You're eyes..."

"I...used to work with a magician. Picked up some cool party tricks over the years. Nothing special Roger any..." she cleared her throat trying to keep from rolling her eyes at her own lie. "...anyone can learn to...teenagers into all that gothic crap even."

"Is that how you know Edward?" he started to process what she was telling him, his heart rate returning to normal. "All that stuff he rambles on about, the voodoo and stuff."

"Yeah, that's exactly it. We a pack...I mean cult I mean coven. Long time ago it seems." she patted his shoulder as she turned to look again at the row of windows. "Another thing before you go for the night. Um...I need you to order a large pizza."

Twenty five minutes later, our heroine stood in front of the neighbour's door, the large pizza in hand. Knocking, she waited for someone to answer, and she wasn't in the mood to wait around all night. By her calculations, Arthur would be back within in the half hour. It was pushing the limit on her plans, but times were desperate. To her luck and surprise, Arthur had gotten a call from the police station and needed to go in. The call forced him to tell her what he did for a living, just in case she thought he wasn't completely single. Sniffing back a growl of impatience, our heroine heard the foot falls of someone in the apartment next to Edward's.


"Pizza." she said as cheerfully as she could.

"I didn't order..." the male said confused as he opened the door just a crack.

"Someone did." she remarked trying to remember how all the delivery drivers used to act back when she was younger.

"That double anchovy?" he asked clearly interested in the food. Nodding our heroine opened the pizza box showing him the goods. Turning, he mumbled something about whoever ordered it loss and his gain reaching for his wallet, the door opening another few inches. Moving her foot, she sighed in relief as the opening door was a clear invitation allowing her to enter the apartment.
The guy found himself two feet off the ground as our heroine had him by the chin, pinned up against the wall.  Kicking the door closed, she dropped the pizza box down with a graceful movement on the nearest surface, then proceeded to cover the guy's mouth so that he wouldn't scream.
She started sniffing deeply trying to get the scent of The Seer through the wall. Smirking, she shook her head as she dragged the guy into the bedroom.
Raising her head, she sniffed again deeper this time. There were other scents in the apartment itself, a woman's.

"You don't live alone?" she asked mindlessly. The guy shook his head, his eyes wide with fear. Our heroine could smell the sweat starting as all the hairs on the guy's arms stood straight up. "Right then, even less time then I thought." With a loud crack, she slammed her elbow through the wall just beside the bed. It only took two more hits in order to break through exposing a small window into Edward's apartment.
She held the guy still by the neck with her right hand, her left now digging at the edges of the hole as plaster crumbled to dust around them. Both were covered in the chalky powder. Whistling the way Rolf always did when trying to get Reuben's attention, she waited.

Nothing happened. Swearing, she continued to break more of the wall down creating a small doorway. Taking a deep breath, she stepped through it, the neighbour still held tight.  Edward was curled up on the floor in the corner of the bedroom, his hands no longer duct taped, but he was wearing mittens, his normally perfectly combed hair knotted and sticking up everywhere, wearing nothing but a robe. It was obvious by the clean laundry scent, that Roger had forced The Seer to bathe and change out of what he'd been wearing when she'd been there earlier.

"You're going to sit right there and not make a sound got it. If you try to run, I'll break both your legs." she hissed pushing the neighbour down on the bed as she advanced towards Edward.  The dark haired male had been sitting mumbling to himself staring at his hands when he finally realized she was there.

"You're not real. Are you real? No no, you've got to be just a dream." he pushed himself up the wall to a crouching position his mittened hands out between them. "You can't be real because I drew you. I wrote you into...into my story. It was my story wasn't it? And not something you put in my head?" he continued to a standing position, his hands still out between them as if holding her back. Bolting, Edward ran into the living room, trying to get the glass covering off the spellbook he'd collected. But the mittens were just causing his hands to slide without any grip on the case.

"Babe, it's me. I'm right here. Right here, real as you are." she whispered. "I came to see you earlier with Roger but I had to leave." she moved cautiously around the room one ear listening to make sure the neighbour had stayed put.  He hadn't. "Damn it!" she growled running back after him at a speed only Edward could see. That scared The Seer that much more causing him to run for the door but stopped abruptly. Slowly he began to shuffle backwards from the front door.

"No can't go outside because there is no more outside." he giggled tears beginning to pool in his blue eyes. "Just a big boom." he clapped his hands, the mittens muffling the sound. "And pain. Lots of pain wake up like my skull is on fire." he turned around in a circle still giggling.  Our heroine returned with the neighbour dragging him once again, his arm dangling at a strange angle. "You said you'd break his legs." Edward said quickly pointing his mittened hand in her direction.

"Well, here's hoping the arm was enough of a lesson." she remarked. Stumbling, she slammed them both into the wall. The sound of the neighbour's blood rushing that much quicker with the pain, echoing like thunder in her ears; caused her to loose what little control she'd been mastering.
The female's eyes became pure white of the banshee, her double row of top fangs having broken the flesh of her gums as she let her mind drift for just a split second.  Biting down hard on the neighbour's collarbone, she held him tight with her left hand, her right covering his mouth so that he couldn't scream. It was nothing more then a blink but enough that she had to rip her mouth from him, breathing deeply trying to get control of her senses again, hot saliva pooling the colour of beets at the neck of the guy's t-shirt. "Sorry dude dinner is definitely on you."

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your up story. Well they are bloodsucking feinds from beyond the grave...)

Friday, February 12, 2016

year 5 day 72

movie: Runaway Bride
starring: Julia Roberts, Richard Gere
year: 1999
format: TV Edit

plot:a reporter covers the story about a woman who keeps leaving men at the altar. After getting him fired from the newspaper, he agrees to re-write it, and ends up falling for her himself.

The big theme here seemed to be not being true to you. There is a running gag- no pun intended- where he asks each of the exes what her favourite way to have eggs is, and each says the same as theirs. Then when he points out to her their answers, she realizes it's because she is always trying to please everyone else.
There is a scene about fifteen minutes before the end where she once again runs away, leaving the Gere character this time, and I thought that was the end of the film. Sadly, it continued and they got back together. I was sort of hoping there wasn't going to be the over the top typical happy hollywood ending.  I guess I was just hoping the "bride" would be a true villain this time around and not a victim. As you almost get the impression she's one of those types who is addicted to the big fuss of a wedding, and not so much looking for the right man.

what did i learn? On some level, everyone believes in the fairy tale.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

year 5 day 71

movie: Road Warrior Mad Max 2
starring: Mel Gibson, Virginia Hey
genre:Action, Sci-fi
format: Hollywood Suites Channel

plot: While searching for fuel, a man is drawn into the lives of a group of settlers and ends up trying to help them relocate

So this was a western right? I mean, I'm not imagining things, this was meant to be a sci-fi take on the old westerns? Right?
The survivors in this apocalyptic world, are looking for a safe route that will let them rebuild their lives. As there doesn't seem to be any kind of "city" outside of the camps they have set up for themselves, with everyone nothing more then nomadic tribes, or collectives. Along comes this lone "gunslinger" who just seems to want to pass through as quietly as possible, only he let's things get the better of him. Or so you think. As he offers to help only in trade for some gasoline. Which if this had been a straight up western, would have been gold.

He ends up becoming the typical anti-hero when he offers to retrieve a truck that may or may not even be viable, and ends up coming face to face with a bunch of pirates.  (okay mixing movie metaphors here I know)

There is almost no dialogue in this film. It's all shoot em up, kill kill, car chases. I kept waiting for a big monolog from someone. Anyone.
I liked this style of movie more when I was younger, and would have found so many hidden "clues" to the metaphors or conspiracies in it. The obvious being how we as a society have wasted our resources. But now, all I saw was a bunch of S/M dudes chasing a truck.

what did i learn? I'll never be able to think of Mel Gibson again without thinking of the dog food scene.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Year 5 Day 70

movie: The Wedding Wish  aka How I Married my High School Crush
starring: Katee Sackhoff, Sage Brocklebank
genre: Fantasy
year: 2007
format: TV Edit

plot: During an eclipse, a girl wishes that she is married to her current crush, and time travels to the day of their wedding only to find out things are not as she hoped.

If' you've seen movies like Big or 13 Going on 30,  then you know the basic plot of this story. Kid too eager to grow up for whatever reason, and ends up magickally transported into their future selves in order to change their ways and learn where they got greedy.

In this case, you've got two people who have the lesson to learn, the girl making the wish and the unsuspecting crush.  They are partnered up by their teacher to work on a project together in 1990. Which at first, the Brocklebank character cons the Sackhoff character into doing for him, but when she hands him the assignment, and makes her wish, she sets off a chain reaction. Both find themselves on the day of their wedding in 2007 and only have a few days to figure out what happened.  She in the end realizes she's in love with someone else, and he realizes that he never learned how to take care of himself without conning others.

what did I learn? Careful what you wish for, you just might get it

The Nosferatu Adventures s10 p3

The Nosferatu Adventures
page 251, chapter 251

Out of Time

Our heroine shook her head, her features melting back to normal as she moved closer to the two teenaged customers. Sniffing, she picked up the small incense burner breathing it in as if smoking a cigarette before grabbing one of the tea cups on the little coffee table, taking a large gulp. "Mushrooms and mugwort." she smiled again at them. "Good choice." she nodded to the room as she slipped out the front door.

"That was sloppy." a voice said to her over her shoulder ten minutes later, as she hit the button on the elevator. She didn't have to look to know that Loki had shimmered in. "What the hell were you doing exposing your..."

"Fangs." she snickered.

"Exactly. Exposing yourself to average humans! What the hell were you thinking? You've been at this long enough..." the elevator binged as the doors slid open, a rush of air slamming into our heroine's face. She didn't move just planted both palms firmly on the edges of the elevator door, her shoulders hunched, her nose twitching.

"Oh you didn't!" She turned around to find the elevator empty, Loki having shimmered away. Growling, she stormed the few feet to the door of the penthouse, hesitant to open it. Just as she was reaching out for it, it swung open revealing a little pink nose as the fuzzball yelped. The fur of the little pup was white with patches of black, grey and rusty brown. It's stub of a tail wagging happily as it rested on it's back legs, it's front paws treading air. "He's not a wolf."

"No, he's not. I was thinking of making him half hellhound half husky, but thought the St. Bernard would suit better." he bent down to scratch the puppy's head.

"He's going to be a big dog." she sighed sidestepping around the little creature.  The little pup yawned as he turning around fully, following the two through the penthouse.

"More than normal given he is half hellhound." the dark haired god replied pointing at her.

"I'm happy here. This modern reality, this life. Even if I have to hide my real nature, have limited access to the magick. I'm not going back just so that you can have..." she gestured angrily at the creature.

"Oh your not going anywhere." he licked his lips taking a deep breath, his brown eyes searching the room as he searched for his thoughts. "I'm not letting you out of my sight and since I need to be here..."

"Because of The Seer. Which brings up, why is he locked up in his apartment?" she tossed her leather bag at the sofa, pacing around the living room. The puppy darting right for the sofa, jumping up trying to get the strap of the bag.

"It's for his own good. He's piled up too many dead bodies. Brought too much attention to things. It's been a hell of a bitch cleaning up after him." Loki replied leaning back against the wall, his shoulders inching up and down as if he were trying to find a soft spot.

"He'll starve." she raised her voice, a near growl sounding. "You realize that right?" she crossed her arms then uncrossed them gesturing to the ceiling.  "His sidhe side still needs to feed even if the werewolf side is under control." she brought her hands up to her neck locking her fingers, taking a half step towards Loki.

"I told you to stay away from him." the dark haired god shook his head, his eyes turning to the amber-grey of the werewolf,  fangs began to jut across the edge of his bottom lip, as he squared his jaw. He launched himself away from the wall again, hunching his upper body towards her.

"You talked for years about how the pack is everything, how loyalty is everything. And now, you're turning around telling me that I should forget that The Seer was part of my pack? Is part of my pack. And the only member of that pack that I've got any access to!"

"You've got Rufus!" he shouted taking a step then turning sharply. His hands had become claws with long glass like nails, as he flexed his left one.

"The Seer should be here with us! If you're so set on protecting him, and not having to clean up after his hunting, then why is he alone in an apartment and not here with you to begin with? What, does he cramp your style of jet setting playboy huh? Why if you brought him here first did you set him up with a great new fake life and stick me in the spare bedroom?"

"Cause he's a poptart."the sentence was barely a hiss as Loki's neck moved in a near spasm. "Yeah, you're right he does cramp my style. My jet setting playboy style..." he took a deep breath advancing towards her to the point they were nose to nose. "Cause I've got nothing better to do all day then seduce people, and party with a bunch of kids. It's not like I've got anything real to do, such as I don't know, keep the balance of life and death." he grabbed her chin tightly, dragging one long clawed nail down her face leaving a hot trail of liquid heat as he did. Leaning in, Loki licked the blood from the edge of her cheek bone to the corner of her jaw, the wound closing just as quick as he'd scratched it."I set him up in his apartment with a job, and friends, and gave him a lifetime of fake memories because he's under an extreme witness protection got it! That day...that day so many years ago at that fair ground, Pan possessed him. You thought you were all dreaming, being at a rock concert. But you weren't. We planted you all in yet another reality."

"Why?" our heroine asked, her anger still just under the surface, still hovering in her voice.

"Dagan had just found a way to break your bond. Had asked Bach to...and I thought at that point it was a mistake. I needed you two to reconnect." Loki dropped his hand finally from her chin, lowering his own to look up at her from under his lashes."It was the one reality were The Seer was weak. Our weakest link, and Pan took advantage. You were newly pregnant with Damen..."

"The oldest yeah whatever get to the point." she hissed.

"...with Damen, and Pan was trying to get close to you to possess the baby. We've been over this." his features shifted back to normal, his eyes flashing back to their human brown.

"So The Seer suffers now because he's got a hitchhiker and you're itching for another ankle biter." she cleared her throat crossing her arms. "You made me the unwilling surrogate for your five brats, the oldest plus the litter." she screwed up her nose squinting her eyes at him, a dissatisfied grunt half escaping her throat. 

"Only two survived."  the dark haired god's tone dropped a notch as he brought his hands to his belt, rocking back on his heels."Damen and the very youngest of the litter."

"That's not my problem. I barely got through childbirth on the second round, what makes you think I'd let you toss your orbs again?"  she turned in a blur snatching her leather bag from the sofa, causing the new puppy to whimper in defeat and confusion as his nose sniffed the air where the bag had just been. Moving at a speed only Loki could see, our heroine was down the building's back stairs and on the main street before anyone else even felt the breeze as she zoomed past.

She found herself back at The Seer's building less then five minutes later, sneaking in a side door that she'd less then gracefully broke the lock on. Climbing the stairs to The Seer's floor, her senses were on overload as she heard every movement behind every door, smelled every mixture of scents coming from each neighbour. It was all she could do to keep her wits about her as she slammed an open palm on the door.
Within seconds, there were footsteps gently padding across the room, the sound of someone sighing as they approached their side of the door in confusion, and finally the lock sliding open. Arthur Holmwood stood one arm braced against the doorframe, as he smiled down at her.  "Sorry I was rude earlier, I had a family emergency. But, I was wondering if you might be up for some company?"

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your up story. I think he's up for it.)

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

year 5 day 69

movie: One Day
starring: Jim Sturgess, Anne Hathaway
genre: Drama
year: 2011
format: TV Edit

plot:A couple's life is explored in one day segments for the course of 15 years

Based on the book

Between being a tv edit and being a movie that does jump around in the story telling, it was a difficult one to sit through. It got confusing midway as the story seemed to race against itself. You're watching this doomed love relationship that is expressed half heartedly through "maybe laters" that play more like teenaged crushes than the big epic love story it's suppose to be.

The story has the typical opposites attract theme going on, with the wild bad boy vs the quiet shy girl. Which is not so subtly symbolized by a ying-yang tattoo the Sturgess character has on his leg in one scene. At which point, the Hathaway character scolds him for. In fact, there seems to be a lot of playground teasing between the two in many of the scenes, which looses it's cuteness after the first half hour.

I've never been much of a fan of When Harry Met Sally, and all this is, is trying to be that.

what did I learn? love sucks dog balls

Monday, February 8, 2016

Year 5 Day 68

movie: Mary Reilly
starring:Julia Roberts, John Malkovich
format: Hollywood Suites Channel

plot: A maid in the household of Dr. Jekyll witnesses the odd behavouir of her employer, while suspecting his new assistant Mr. Hyde is in fact a murderer.

Based on the novel of the same name

You're dealing with split personality, one that is a scientist, while the other is little more then a civilized beast. Or so we're led to believe.  And on the surface, that's what you have. But, this version of the Jekyll and Hyde story has more to do with  the romance between the two leads, and what she's willing to put up with from him. Specially once she realizes that her dear Jekyll is in reality, her despised Hyde.

When the doctor takes his potion, which you're never told for certain he created himself, as there is a hint later on in the film that suggests it's been mixed by a chemist/perfumer for him; he physically grows healthier and younger. But, the side effect of that is that he's a psychopath.  You quickly learn that both personalities are more then aware of each other, leading to the idea that it was never accidental or even therefore, unsought. The doctor, at one point confesses he's always had this urge within him to kill, and had hoped to more then repress it.
Mary tells the doctor about her childhood abuse, and because of that, the Hyde personality has this information too, which at times he uses. You're never completely sure if he's torturing her on purpose with the knowledge, or if he's so unconnected to others, that he emotionally hurts her unwillingly?

From the romance point, you could argue that because the lead female character hasn't dealt with her past, she's accepted the new abusive relationship, because she does in the end allow herself to have an attraction to the Hyde personality, even after learning he's a serial killer.

On the supernatural end of it, you could look at this as a straight up doppelganger story.

what did I learn? There is two sides to every story

Sunday, February 7, 2016

year 5 day 67

movie: See you in Valhalla
starring: Sarah Hyland, Steve Howey
genre: Drama
year: 2015
format: Netflix Canada

plot: After they learn that their brother is dead, a family is forced to deal with each other.

Like many movies that deal with family issues, this one is filled with "the deep dark secrets" of each family member. The dead brother was killed avenging his dead girlfriend, both of who were devotees to the Viking lifestyle, and recovering addicts.
The older brother, is extremely conservative, and constantly beating up on the middle brother who is gay, and has brought his boyfriend along. While the younger sister, who ends up having to face her ex and his new family, seems to be the new center of mocking.

I thought it was interesting enough, by sort of predictable. I would have liked to have seen more of the Viking elements.

what did I learn? Every family is it's own worst enemy

Saturday, February 6, 2016

year 5 day 66

movie: Pride Prejudice and Zombies
starring: Jack Huston, Lily James
genre: Comedy, Drama, Action
year: 2016
format: Cinema

plot: The Bennet women are some of the most fearful and skilled slayers of their generation, trained to fight the zombie outbreak that has engulfed England. Now, if they could only find a way to win themselves husbands who are still alive, their lives would have meaning.

Based on the book Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which is based on the original novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

I've been looking forward to this movie for the last few years, since I heard it was going to be turned into a movie. And you know what...I was bit disappointed.  This deviates from both the original source and from the modern monster version.  I seem to remember Lydia and Wickham ending up together in the PPZ book version, and Wickham in a state of needing a nurse. As well as the character of Charlotte becoming a zombie and Elizabeth helping her hide it from everyone. In the movie, none of that seems to happen. The character of Charlotte the best friend, who in the PPZ  book had a much more important role, has I think it was two scenes in the movie. Sort of disappointed to see that. As well as the character of Lydia, who becomes a victim in the movie, not the scheming backstabbing gold digger she is in the books. One of my favourite scenes from the book version had the heroes using cauliflower as fake brains to bait the zombies, but the movie seemed to bypass that idea.

In the original Austen story, as in all her novels, even though they are all set during the war, but we are never given details of any war; that is the one thing the movie of PPZ does. It sets, in it's own way, the missing "war" into the Austen stories.

The comedy didn't come across as well in the movie as it did in the Seth Grahame-Smith book. This was pretty much a straight up action flick that just happened to take place during the 1800's.

what did I learn? If you liked the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, then this is for you.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Night Bleeds Announcement Feb

Spudguns! I did say earlier in the week I'd be back to give you an "official" post for the all vampire movie/book here goes.

The Idea- pick one vampire movie and one vampire book per month and blog about it. Sometimes, it's the same title in which there is a comparison; other times it is two different titles picked randomly.
Bonus- If you were inspired by the book and movie or even just one of them, to craft or bake/cook something, add it to the blog post

The Deadline- Always the last Sunday of the month (unless specified)

Rules- The blog post must be the current month (in this case February 2016)
          -You must link your post back to either this announcement post, or the official page, and drop a comment on this post and on the deadline post letting me know about it.

February selectionAbraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter  (both book and movie)
                deadline- Sunday Feb 28th 2016

And if you are in the Thunder Bay area, and would like to join the physical book club drop me a comment here.

Year 5 Day 65

movie: The Rendering
starring: Shannen Doherty, Peter Outerbridge
genre:Crime, Thriller
format: Hollywood Suites Channel

plot: After helping to put a serial stalker behind bars, a woman's husband is framed for murder by the same man

This is sadly, a typical made for tv movie. The plot moves so quickly, that it feels chopped up too much. You have the lead go undercover to get the bad guy, yet there's this creepy undercurrent of a romance between them. The scene where she agrees to meet her former attacker for dinner, to try to get a confession, just seemed a bit much. 

The movie just runs completely cold. There didn't seem to be any chemistry with any of the three main characters.  Outerbrige plays his villain to perfection, with just enough con-artist/obsessive/controlling stalker to give you pause, but the rest of the cast fall flat.

what did i learn?  too much time spent on getting the right art props, not enough energy into the script

Thursday, February 4, 2016

The Nosferatu Adventures s10 p2

The Nosferatu Adventures
page 250, chapter 250

Out of Time

She stood in the hallway of the apartment building, her eyes closed, breathing through her mouth. Our heroine was doing all she could not to turn around, break down the nearest door and rip out the throat of the three occupants. Their blood was deafening to her. The sound like waves crashing against rocks echoing in the hallows of her mind. And the smell! She could tell there was a window open in the apartment behind her, a breeze coming westward through the place and waffling up under the locked door. It carried not just the salty briny copper of blood, but the hot stickiness of the caramel popcorn someone was eating. The sugar singing it's song to her senses, making the blood that much more inviting. Clearing her throat, our heroine tightened her grip on the leather strap of her bag, as she forced herself to move ahead.  Instinctively her right hand shot out to touch the wall, as she dragged her fingertips across it marking her territory.  That was until she arrived at her destination.

The smell of wet dog had been strong all the way up the street, but once she found herself at the parking lot of the building, she knew this was where she was suppose to be. Never mind the fact Roger had been pacing back and forth outside the place, a set of keys nervously clutched in his sweaty palm.  Our heroine had stuck out her tongue twice as if tasting a furball, the area permeated with the scent of werewolf.  Not just any werewolf, The Seer.  She swallowed hard as she breathed out slowly, cracking her neck and rotating her one shoulder. Her insides were jelly as she felt a rush clutching at her guts. Part of her wanted nothing more than to jump into The Seer's arms, the other part to rip his throat out.

The look on Roger's face when he spotted our heroine had turn the corner, stepping off the sidewalk and onto the parking lot, was pure relief.  He had called the office not more then an hour before asking if she could meet him, that he was very worried about Edward's behaviour.  Roger continued to ramble on about how he found him sitting in a ball in the corner of the room, his hands taped up with duct tape. He then handed her another drawing, it was crumpled and drawn in mustard. Her lips turned up in a smirk as she remembered the mustard drawing Leo had done a decade before. Following Roger into the building, our heroine felt her fangs begin to pulse.

Now, she stood in the hallway,fighting the urge to rip into the neighbours, Roger wiping at the sweat beading around his collar as he unlocked the door, peering into the darkness. He called out to Edward unaware that our heroine had taken a large step backward. The heavy scent of a sweaty unbathed lycanthrope nearly knocked her not just against the wall, but triggered a shiver as it seemed to course through her.  Roger leaned back into the hallway gesturing to her that it was okay to follow him into the apartment. Clearing her throat, our heroine let out another deep breath as she tried to shrug off the electric feeling that was clinging to her. Then it hit her as clear as day.

Our heroine was back across the length of the hallway, crumpled against the fire exist. Breathing heavily, she slammed her fist into the wall, hearing a crack, as the plaster fractured a few inches. "Loki!" she hissed under her breath. Getting up she brushed the dirt off of her jeans, as she stormed back over to the doorway. Pressing her palm up against the invisible barrier, she snarled her eyes flashing the amber-grey of the wolf.  Loki had used his magick to put an anti-vampire spell in place. Not only was Nosferatu not able to get in, but that meant because of his sidhe side, The Seer couldn't leave either.

But this wasn't the worst of our heroine's worries. Two things seemed to happen simultaneously. Roger's eyes became wide, his mouth opened in disbelief; and the neighbour at the end of the hall came home.

"What the? What are you?" Roger asked frozen in place just millimeters from her on the darkened side of the apartment doorway.

"It's you. What are you doing here?" a voice said just as surprised but in a completely different tone. As Arthur Holmwood shifted position, his keys in one hand, a bag of groceries in the other, and a very large file under his arm, our heroine turned just enough to glare at him from the corner of her eye before running out of the building. The heavy glass door crashed into the wall of buzzers as she shoved it open with barely a nudge. Her shoes crunching the now broken glass as she moved down the parking lot.  Her eyes closed once again, the female breathed in sharp gulps of air, a sound escaping her throat that wasn't quite a human huff and not quite a growl either. She had to get out of there, the feeling was building up too much.
There was so much rage. She had no idea where it was coming from, but it was everywhere. Filling her mind, forcing her body to move without knowing where she was. Our heroine's natural instincts took over, as she breathed in sharply, sniffing the air for something familiar to latch on to. Before long, she found herself at the occult shop, having picked up Rufus's scent.

She said nothing as she entered, walking past Rufus and Matilda, her eyes shifting to the pure white of the banshee, her double row of fangs dripping with saliva, ignoring the two teenaged customers that were there for a tarot reading, dropping her leather bag as she headed towards the basement. It wasn't until she was in the middle of the room, surrounded by boxes and stacks of unpacked herbs, statues and books, that she finally gave in.  The sound was deafening as a scream ravaged her vocal cords breaking the windows of the occult shop's small kitchen, shattering a few glass bottles their liquid spilling and splattering everywhere, merchandise ruined. As our heroine fell to her knees,she continued to breath in hot gasps sucking in mouthfuls of dust and stale air. Turning, the female crawled towards the stairs, forcing herself to a standing position, climbing them.

Leaning in the basement threshold, still half transformed, long strains of clear saliva dripping from her bottom lip as she finally began to speak. "Someone call the cops. We need to report a death...more then one, about two blocks away." she sniffed wiping her wrist over her mouth. "I felt it as I was on my way here."  A short fit of mad laughter caused her to smile towards the two customers as they stood in shock and fear. "Hi."

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your (straight up story. Well, her appearance is a shock to everybody.)

year 5 Day 64

movie: Afternoon Delight
starring: Kathryn Hahn, Josh Radnor
year: 2013
format: Netflix Canada

plot: Unsatisfied with her daily life, a bored housewife invites a stripper to move in with her family.

This movie has a slow pace to it, at first coming across like it's going to be a story of opposites. But as it progresses, it's purely the inner struggles of the lead character.  She becomes obsessed with this young stripper after her and her husband go to a strip club together, to the point she starts hanging around outside the club. The two women form a friendship, and when the stripper is suddenly homeless, she takes her in.

The story starts off about the lack of a sex life between the wife and her husband, but evolves more into a lack of real connection that the lead is feeling in general. We see her begrudgingly continue to hang out with the other moms in her group of friends, tired of the constant talk of  school fundraisers and recipes, feeling trapped. We see her therapist telling her about her own life, instead of the other way around, soaking up what's left of her self esteem. Meanwhile, her husband is doing the same things with his buddies he'd done forever, never feeling the same lack of connection.

It wasn't a new story, bit on the predictable side. But it kept my attention more then I thought it would.  You almost have to wonder if this should be taken as a cautionary tale? The lead under the guise of wanting to help someone, is actually reaching out herself for help. It's not till everything falls apart on her that she realizes what she was really doing.

what did I learn? Not everything is about you even when it is.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

year 5 day 63

movie: Inside Out
starring Amy Poehler, Bill Hader
genre:Cartoon, Comedy, Drama
format: Netflix Canada

plot: We follow a week in the life of an 11 year, but through the view point of her emotions as they try to reconnect her to herself

I am not even sure where to start with this. It was a lot better then I was expecting it to be. The "lead" character of the emotion Joy, had this fairy quality to it. I just kept thinking of the movie Ferngully.
There seems to be a constant struggle between the emotions of Sadness and Joy, who through the whole film, are the two oldest of the emotions. Joy, who tries to control everything and keep everything happy and light, while Sadness is viewed like the sidekick.

The kid who's emotions are telling the story, filter the experience of moving across the country, losing what mattered most to that point; the stability of the old friends, hobbies and familiarness to the point of pure denial. It's this denial of the full range of emotions, that lead them to accidentally destroying the personality of the kid. They then have this journey to try to rebuild everything.

It's a cartoon and spends the majority of the time fighting to keep things in a safe innocent place. It's a kid's movie...or is it?  It's not until the emotions realize they need to work together that the personality of the kid is saved, and new elements are introduced.

what did I learn? No body is one thing

February Food n Flix

This month's Food n Flix selection is The Lunch Box, and is being hosted by Culinary Adventures with Camilla.

 plot: After making lunch for her husband, and finding out it was delivered to the wrong person, a young housewife finds herself in an emotional affair.

This is the 2013 drama starring Irrfan Khan and Nimrat Kaur 

I talked about this movie before on the blog  (Year 3 Day 141)
And once again, I watched this on Netflix Canada, so you will notice a lack of dvd cover in the photos. 

For those of you who have been following my blog for the last year during the group posts, you know I get teased for the fact I like to be thorough with my food lists seen in the movies.  Well, yeah that ain't going to happen this time around. The movie's food scenes kicked my arse. I don't cook this style of food, rarely eat it, and had some difficulty identifying  most of what was seen.
I did however, see rice, apples, bananas, green beans, tortillas, curry soup/vindaloo, deep fried rice balls, tea/coffee, spices, yogurt, bottled pop/juice, bread, carrots, potatoes, onions.  The subtitles mentioned cauliflower, pasanda, lamb, wantons (the sign they are standing in front of).  Then there was what I think I saw... ravioli, stuffed plantain, noodle salad, jerky and candy (at the stand when he buys cigarettes) spare ribs or chicken wings (wasn't a close up couldn't really tell), stuffed grape leaves, rice pudding (one of the end scenes when he is talking about the wedding and they are just holding a dessert cup of something) and I thought of sardines (the fact everyone is jammed on the bus) twix (every time he grabbed his glasses case)

So, because I thought at one point there had been a spicy curried rib, I really wanted to do that. And you're all thinking...what? You're a vegetarian, you blast that fact every chance you get!  True. I have been a veggie since 2001. But, my mother let me talk her into letting me cook for her. She can't do spicy food, so I ended up compromising with a honey garlic sauce, and they were drumettes. (I couldn't find any spare ribs that morning)
They, ironically turned out beautiful. But when I pulled up the movie once again to show my mother what I was planning, I realized, that it was not ribs in the scene.

And you're wondering, why am I bothering to talk about it if it's in the end, nothing to do with the movie?  After I thought about it, it sort of fit with the whole "mistaken identity" part of the film.

Mistaken Identity Wings

Tin foil the baking sheet, then lightly oil the surface

rinse the drumettes before placing on the oiled tin foil

cook for 30 minutes depending on your oven at 350 degrees

The honey garlic sauce, is the most basic you can do,

mix to your taste, the honey and soy sauce
with 1 Tablespoon of minced garlic

I used a prepackaged minced garlic, simply because my mother doesn't keep spices in her place and I didn't want to be carrying more then I needed to.

Stir till desired consistency, then pour over chicken

cook for another 20 minutes, turning it over at the midway point

Okay, so as I stated, I'm vegetarian so I DID NOT eat these myself.  It's been fifteen years since I've cooked any kind of meat dish, so for me this was a big step towards rebuilding my skills. And they must have been good, because mother devoured them without complaint.

And some of you might be scratching your head, wondering why would I make something I can't eat or for that matter, taste test during cooking myself? To be brutally honest, I get ideas for these films sometimes that I haven't done simply because you can only do so much with tofu and potatoes.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

year 5 day 62

movie: The New Waterford Girl
starring: Liane Balaban, Tara Spencer-Nairn
genre: Comedy, Drama
year: 1999
format: Hollywood Suites Channel

plot: Unhappy with her life, a teenager dreams of escaping her fishing town, and with the help of the new neighbour, hatches a plan to get out.

Life in a small coastal Canadian town in the 1970's. Yeah man. And what is there to do in a small coastal Canadian town in the 1970's other then dream about getting out, drink too much, and make bad sexual relationship choices? Well, you can always pretend to make bad sexual relationship choices while your new best friend beats the cheating boyfriends up for a living.

The story is interesting in it's originality, and semi-endearing in it's truthfulness. You have a group of teenagers who are basically cliches of teen pregnancy because there is literally nothing else happening. And the lead character who wishes she had an easy out, while she watches the unwed teen moms leave town in a haze and fog of scandal; grabs that notion and runs wild with it, all the while unknowingly ruining the life of the local slacker-teacher.
The lead lies to get what she wants, hurts more then a few people, and yet is still the hero? 

The main idea here is do you settle for what is handed to you or do you fight for something more?

what did I learn? Beware of the ripple effect when you skip the stones on the pond.

Monday, February 1, 2016

year 5 day 61

movie: Private Benjamin
starring: Goldie Hawn, Eileen Brennan
genre: Comedy
year: 1980
format: Hollywood Suites Channel

plot: After her husband dies on their wedding night, a widow begins to fall apart and finds herself accidentally in the army.

We follow this chick who, at the start of everything has the life of her dreams, and five minutes later, living a nightmare. Cast out of her life because of a moment of stupidity; she's recruited by a snaky guy while still grieving, only to end up deciding to stay in the army because her parents would rather tell people she's in the psych ward. She then meets this guy who offers her the same life she always wanted, only on his terms.

I get that this is suppose to be a story about finding courage in yourself, and your place in the grand scheme of things, but I kept waiting for something to happen. It didn't really get good until she does decide to run off with the guy, which isn't until the last 20 minutes. It's only at that point that the lead character is forced to figure out who she is, and what she's honestly capable of. That's when she takes a real step back and asks herself if the life she's about to get into is her life or the life she's been expected to have?

The movie has a bit of an identity crisis, the first hour trying to be a comedy, and the last 20 minutes trying to be a drama, but never really finding it's balance. It's this big fluffy marshmallow of nothing, then all of a sudden, it decides it needs to tackle some heavy situations like sexual assault; which in turn flips the switch and leads the movie down another path. It's almost like two different movies were sliced together.

I can't say that I hated it, but I can't say that I loved it either. But I don't think I'd sit though it again on purpose.

what did I learn?  Movies don't need to have "girl power" songs to prove their point.

Coffee Talk 2016 Feb 1st

First day of the month, which means, my lovely Spudguns!, that this is the point where I come in and give a shout out to the Food n'Flix host. And that would be Culinary Adventures with Camilla. And the selection this month is Lunch Box.

But wait, that's not all this month, because I'm going to remind you that the Night Bleeds all Vampire movie and book club, is doing Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter; as both the book and movie selections. The deadline for that is the last Sunday of the month, which is the 28th of Feb.  The rules are available on the "Night Bleeds" page.  And I'll do an "official" blog post on it later in the week.

Righty-ho, righty-ho man. I'll be back in a few hours with today's movie of the day. That's about it for the moment.